March of the Morons

The spammers are back. They don't take much time off.

What I have to wonder about is why these spams work? Why does anyone open an Email with 'viagra' or 'rolex' misspelled in the title? How stupid do you have to be to place an order from one of these Emails? Come on, these people can use computers, surely they have at least one functioning brain cell?

Why does anyone even open Emails that come from 'Rancid H. Obscure' or similar made-up names?

The psychology of these hapless punters fascinates me. Spammers say their system works because it sends out thousands, or even millions of ads. It's not as simple as that. You can send out millions of ads, sure, and you'll get a few of the IQ-challenged to read your ads, but how low an IQ does it take to place an order?

If your brain is functioning at that level, you'd better let your dog check your Email.

It's not quantity of ads that keeps the spammers in business, it's the halfwits who respond. The chance of receiving any of the advertised products is far less than 50%, yet there are people who really should not be in charge of a credit card placing orders.

I can see why viagra and penis-enlargement sell. Modern man is conditioned to believe that bigger is better. If any of these products actually worked, there'd be men at the doctors with their bits in a sling, because they'd trodden on the end of it. There'd be pink scarves in winter. At the bar, men could just lay them out like hoses into the urinals so they wouldn't have to interrupt their drinking.

The downside is that if you fill one of these with blood to make it erect, you'd pass out.

You'll never see any of these though, because spam products are scams. The rolex watches aren't real, the cheap software (if it exists) is an illegal copy, the viagra are most likely sugar-pills, and the penis enlargement is just silly.

It baffles me though, why anyone falls for these. I must get a PhD student to look into it.