The second book in the pile I bought at Amazon’s book sale is ‘Sun signs’ by Jane Struthers. The cover promises ‘The secrets of every sign of the zodiac revealed’. That made me wonder. Astrology has been around for thousands of years. Hasn’t every secret been revealed by now?
I opened it to the Aries section, because that section applies to me and is therefore the only one I can test in any detail. It is, quite rightly, the first sign of the zodiac, and apparently I’m the sort of person who wants to be first in everything. I don’t think I can argue with that.
Hmmm… territorial… gadget-lover… easily bored… unusual drink preferences (Absinthe isn’t unusual, surely? Although some of those beers, perhaps the banana beer or the Chimay could be considered a little ‘different’)… irritable? How dare this woman call me irritable?
I don’t think I have an excessive amount of gadgets. I have only one TV, one VCR, one DVD player, one DVD writer, one combined DVD/VCR, four VHS-C camcorders, one DV camcorder, one hard-disk camcorder (and that’s new so doesn’t really count), four (working) 35mm cameras, several non-working ones, a few digital cameras. These are all essential items, not gadgets. I’ll count the computers next time I’m in the attic.
Without going into the sordid details, the description of Aries fitted me remarkably well, with the exception of politics. I hate politics and despise those whose life’s aim is to be part of it. I also still have hair, which I do comb every day. It is a constant source of irritation that it sometimes needs another comb in the evening although I don’t have to do that unless I’m going somewhere. I also own rather more hats than I have heads.
Each section ends with a quiz. Here’s the Aries quiz, with my answers. I’ll let any astrologers out there decide what it means.
Can you wait patiently for things and people?
Certainly not. If I have to be somewhere at a certain time, I’m there. If you’re not, I’m leaving.
Do you learn from your mistakes?
I think so. Most of the time.
Do you believe it’s always important to take your time over things and not be hurried?
The key word here is ‘always’. In my work, it’s important. Many other things are best dealt with as quickly as possible.
Do you usually finish the projects that you start?
Again, in work, usually. However, there is some linoleum that’s needed to be trimmed for a couple of months, but that’s hardly a critical job. Non-work things sometimes have to wait for completion, but that’s perfectly normal.
Do you always keep to the speed limit when you’re driving?
Well, some of those speed limit signs are small, and they go by so fast…
Do you like to take your time over everything?
I’m getting fed up with typing in these questions. Why didn’t I look to see if I could download them from the Internet? Isn’t this the same as question 3 anyway? Some things are dull, and are best dealt with as quickly as possible.
Do you have a horror of taking risks?
Of course not. What a stupid question. How does anyone get anywhere without taking a risk or two?
Do you like to play safe?
This really is the same as question 7. Who thinks up these things? If I wanted to play safe, I’d have been an accountant or something equally tedious.
Do you always think before taking action?
Sometimes there’s no time to think. Sometimes, sitting around thinking means you miss your chance. So, no.
Can you keep your temper?
Of course I can keep my temper. What kind of question is that? As long as I don’t have to contend with morons, I am as calm and collected as the Buddha himself. Morons annoy me, as do one or two other things, but that doesn’t mean I’m temperamental. It means they’re irritating.
That’s it. Now, I’m going to take the tests for the other signs. If the tests are generic, I’ll fit them all. If they really are specific to a particular sign, I’ll fit the Aries one significantly better than any of the others. I’ll do one a day, and work out the scores at the end.