The second book in the pile I bought at Amazon’s book sale is ‘Sun signs’ by Jane Struthers. The cover promises ‘The secrets of every sign of the zodiac revealed’. That made me wonder. Astrology has been around for thousands of years. Hasn’t every secret been revealed by now?
I opened it to the Aries section, because that section applies to me and is therefore the only one I can test in any detail. It is, quite rightly, the first sign of the zodiac, and apparently I’m the sort of person who wants to be first in everything. I don’t think I can argue with that.
Hmmm… territorial… gadget-lover… easily bored… unusual drink preferences (Absinthe isn’t unusual, surely? Although some of those beers, perhaps the banana beer or the Chimay could be considered a little ‘different’)… irritable? How dare this woman call me irritable?
I don’t think I have an excessive amount of gadgets. I have only one TV, one VCR, one DVD player, one DVD writer, one combined DVD/VCR, four VHS-C camcorders, one DV camcorder, one hard-disk camcorder (and that’s new so doesn’t really count), four (working) 35mm cameras, several non-working ones, a few digital cameras. These are all essential items, not gadgets. I’ll count the computers next time I’m in the attic.
Without going into the sordid details, the description of Aries fitted me remarkably well, with the exception of politics. I hate politics and despise those whose life’s aim is to be part of it. I also still have hair, which I do comb every day. It is a constant source of irritation that it sometimes needs another comb in the evening although I don’t have to do that unless I’m going somewhere. I also own rather more hats than I have heads.
Each section ends with a quiz. Here’s the Aries quiz, with my answers. I’ll let any astrologers out there decide what it means.
Can you wait patiently for things and people?
Certainly not. If I have to be somewhere at a certain time, I’m there. If you’re not, I’m leaving.
Do you learn from your mistakes?
I think so. Most of the time.
Do you believe it’s always important to take your time over things and not be hurried?
The key word here is ‘always’. In my work, it’s important. Many other things are best dealt with as quickly as possible.
Do you usually finish the projects that you start?
Again, in work, usually. However, there is some linoleum that’s needed to be trimmed for a couple of months, but that’s hardly a critical job. Non-work things sometimes have to wait for completion, but that’s perfectly normal.
Do you always keep to the speed limit when you’re driving?
Well, some of those speed limit signs are small, and they go by so fast…
Do you like to take your time over everything?
I’m getting fed up with typing in these questions. Why didn’t I look to see if I could download them from the Internet? Isn’t this the same as question 3 anyway? Some things are dull, and are best dealt with as quickly as possible.
Do you have a horror of taking risks?
Of course not. What a stupid question. How does anyone get anywhere without taking a risk or two?
Do you like to play safe?
This really is the same as question 7. Who thinks up these things? If I wanted to play safe, I’d have been an accountant or something equally tedious.
Do you always think before taking action?
Sometimes there’s no time to think. Sometimes, sitting around thinking means you miss your chance. So, no.
Can you keep your temper?
Of course I can keep my temper. What kind of question is that? As long as I don’t have to contend with morons, I am as calm and collected as the Buddha himself. Morons annoy me, as do one or two other things, but that doesn’t mean I’m temperamental. It means they’re irritating.
That’s it. Now, I’m going to take the tests for the other signs. If the tests are generic, I’ll fit them all. If they really are specific to a particular sign, I’ll fit the Aries one significantly better than any of the others. I’ll do one a day, and work out the scores at the end.
3 comments:
I'm rolling on the floor here. Loved the answers to your questions. What a hoot.
What you're reading is what we call a "cookbook," and is one of the things that gives astrology a bad name. It bases its findings only on the position of the sun, and not very accurately at that. The sun travels through 30 degrees of Aries, and your sun is only in one of those degrees. Does the book say anything about the positions of the other planets or moon, the Ascendant, or the Midheaven? I'm betting not.
I'm curious to know in what context the questions were put, because they are deliberately contradictory.
Can you wait patiently for things and people?
Patience is not usually a trait of Aries (although having other planets or the Ascendant in Taurus, Cancer, Libra, Capricorn, or Pisces can greatly modify that).
Do you learn from your mistakes?
Also not a strong trait of Aries. They generally rush in where angels fear to tread, and leap to conclusions. "Better to be first than to be right" is more their style, but it still depends on the rest of the chart.
Do you believe it’s always important to take your time over things and not be hurried?
Not a trait of Aries! They live to be first.
Do you usually finish the projects that you start?
Aries love to begin things, but they often leave projects for a Taurus (slow but steady progress and stick-to-it-iveness) or Capricorn (born organizers and executives, somewhat bossy) to complete.
Do you always keep to the speed limit when you’re driving?
Well, some of those speed limit signs are small, and they go by so fast…
Perfect answer. That's an Aries trait, if there ever was one!
Do you like to take your time over everything?
As if!
Do you have a horror of taking risks?
Aries are born risk takers. What fun would life be without some risks? Whomever said, "Damn the torpedoes, full speed ahead," was probably an Aries.
Do you like to play safe?
See what I mean about purposely contradictory? No, you don't like to play it safe! How can a ghosthunter play it safe? Sheesh. Playing it safe is not an Aries trait.
Do you always think before taking action?
If so, you have not a speck of Aries in you.
Can you keep your temper?
If you can, you'll be the first Aries in the history of the world.
Aries rules the head. The bit about baldness is more likely the case when a person has Aries on the Ascendant (the rising sign / the constellation on the horizon when the person was born, and let's not have the argument about the sideral zodiac; I'm not up to it at the moment), or with Mars in the first house or very close to the Ascendant. Headaches are often common with Aries people. I don't know if I ever gave much thought to the liking for hats, but it makes sense.
If you really want to know what an Aries is like, think about the first warm days in spring when things start shooting from the ground like blades and swords, and the trees burst with buds, and bees buzz and hornets come out of hibernation. Rams compete, locking horns and butting their heads together for the right to mate. Everything seems to be filled with energy and new life anxious to begin. Aries is ruled by Mars, the quintessential penis planet, which represents everything traditionally thought of as being a man's domaine: sex, sports, contests, guns, knives, weapons, war, wounds, bloodshed, and tools. There are more, but that's off the top of my head.
I would love to see your chart. You should send me your birth data.
Interesting... the book made no mention of warlike tendencies, but I do have a collection of swords, bows, knives, and some interesting small gadgets with blades. No guns, apart from a couple of replicas, because it's illegal to own them without going through far more paperwork than I'm willing to bother with. I have no use for one, so I'm not likely to buy one.
The book has no detailed information on planetary positions. You couldn't learn astrology from it, so it hardly counts as 'revealing secrets'.
I'll see how the tests turn out. What birth data do you need?
Date, including the year, and with the month spelled out because y'all put the day, then the month, and we do it the other way. If are both are low numbers, I won't know which is which.
The exact time, from your birth certificate, if possible. If not that, maybe a hospital ID braclet or baby book, or family Bible, or newspaper announcement. Mother's memory is not usually reliable. Every four minutes makes a huge difference. And if you are able to provide the exact time, tell me which record you got it from.
The place - city, (state, province, or whatever they're called over there) and country.
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