Big Brother...

...is watching you. Or are you watching Big Brother? When you're watching that show, are you certain TV isn't watching you too?

Yes, the most absurd of reality TV shows has returned to the UK airwaves, this time with a bunch of people who think they're important. Celebrities, they call themselves. A waste of pixels, every last one of them.

This show started somewhere in Scandinavia, I believe, and I wish it had stayed there. It shows reality TV as the tasteless voyeurism it really is.

These people are behaving like yobs, even though they're being watched all the time, even on the toilet. Who wants to see that? Really?

I'm off to watch something interesting. I'll pour myself a whisky, sit in my garden and watch the moon move across the sky.

There's more action, and it has a more pleasant face than any of them.