I've decided to start smoking again. The advent of third hand smoke, where non-smokers can be harmed by the mere whiff of tobacco odour on a smoker who has come back inside after being forced out into sub zero temperatures to partake of a legal activity, has convinced me. There are too many feeble idiots in the world now. If there is a God, it's time for another flood. This time, no ark.
There's just no point trying to be nice to these people any more. They aren't worth the effort. I'm going out tomorrow to buy some real cigars and smoke them at home while it's still legal. Moves are already afoot to make it illegal to smoke cigars in my own car or my own home. I will disobey those laws. Enough is enough.
Should I be scared of the authorities? Really? Look at what I have to fear. A police force who refused to enter a river to save a trapped child because health and safety law said they might be at risk of getting a bit cold and wet. I'm supposed to respect and fear weak and worthless people like these? I will not.
I am not a strong swimmer. If I had been there I would have tried. I might have failed and had to be rescued too, I might have suffered the embarrassment of spending time in hospital and I might even have died.
Better that than to live with the memory of watching a child freeze in a river for NINETY MINUTES because a set of rules was more important than a child's life. These people expect to be respected and obeyed. I think they should be shot.
So I will go back to smoking. It might shorten my life, it might not. It is a small act of rebellion against a country that is increasingly full of bubble-wrapped automatons who follow the rules, fear everything that exists and believe every piece of rubbish that is spouted by alleged experts who demonstrably have no idea what they are talking about.
I might not live so long as I would as a non-smoker, but I'll be a lot more relaxed about it.
I don't currently see a downside to that. This is not a world worth persisting with.