It's snowing. Again. The last lot had only just melted away and it's all coming back again. It's enough to make you believe that ice crystals reincarnate.
So, no investigating for the time being, therefore lots of time to browse the papers for some news that doesn't involve something getting banned or some vicious criminal getting let off with a warning while the old lady who tried to stop him goes to jail. Such stories are getting hard to find.
One story claims that Americans are the most attractive people in the world. I've never visited. Perhaps I should. The average British street has some very attractive people in it too, but also a high proportion of those who look like extras from Lord of the Rings. The kind who didn't need makeup to play orcs. We also have a Prime Minister with a face like a bag of spanners and the temperament of a Siamese cat that has been forcibly hurled into a patch of wet nettles, as well as an entire government that seems to have been selected on the basis of repellence in both features and personality, which can't help the average at all.
I haven't met many Americans, which I suppose is a consequence of not having been to America as well as a natural dislike of social situations that might have people in them. The few I've met have proved to be very pleasant people indeed, as have all those I've had occasion to communicate with over the internet. So from my own limited sample set, Americans come out well above the British.
It's not really a fair comparison, because I've never met or communicated with American lunatic fundamentalists with one-issue crusades like the Westboro Baptist Church or Al Gore, whereas I have unfortunately met many British idiots. We do seem to have more than our share. Somehow, they even manage to get into positions of power. Okay, Americans sometimes elect idiots too, and so do other countries, but only in Britain do we seem to make it a condition of employment. We now have councils who fine people because someone else has scrawled graffiti on their walls or because their bins are filled just a little too much. We have a government who are in uncountable debt but are more concerned about writing 'warning - this drink contains drink' on wine bottles bought only by people who already know exactly what's inside. This country has gone from being a world power with an empire that spanned the globe into what can most generously be described as 'a silly place'.
Maybe Americans are the most attractive people in the world. Maybe that's down to plastic surgery and Vogue magazine's insistence on perfection. Maybe it's because they aren't as maniacally paranoid as most current British people. America has ugly loonies too, but we Brits have, I'm sure, the ugliest and the looniest.
At least we are still world leaders at something.