Tuesday, February 16, 2010

The beautiful people.

It's snowing. Again. The last lot had only just melted away and it's all coming back again. It's enough to make you believe that ice crystals reincarnate.

So, no investigating for the time being, therefore lots of time to browse the papers for some news that doesn't involve something getting banned or some vicious criminal getting let off with a warning while the old lady who tried to stop him goes to jail. Such stories are getting hard to find.

One story claims that Americans are the most attractive people in the world. I've never visited. Perhaps I should. The average British street has some very attractive people in it too, but also a high proportion of those who look like extras from Lord of the Rings. The kind who didn't need makeup to play orcs. We also have a Prime Minister with a face like a bag of spanners and the temperament of a Siamese cat that has been forcibly hurled into a patch of wet nettles, as well as an entire government that seems to have been selected on the basis of repellence in both features and personality, which can't help the average at all.

I haven't met many Americans, which I suppose is a consequence of not having been to America as well as a natural dislike of social situations that might have people in them. The few I've met have proved to be very pleasant people indeed, as have all those I've had occasion to communicate with over the internet. So from my own limited sample set, Americans come out well above the British.

It's not really a fair comparison, because I've never met or communicated with American lunatic fundamentalists with one-issue crusades like the Westboro Baptist Church or Al Gore, whereas I have unfortunately met many British idiots. We do seem to have more than our share. Somehow, they even manage to get into positions of power. Okay, Americans sometimes elect idiots too, and so do other countries, but only in Britain do we seem to make it a condition of employment. We now have councils who fine people because someone else has scrawled graffiti on their walls or because their bins are filled just a little too much. We have a government who are in uncountable debt but are more concerned about writing 'warning - this drink contains drink' on wine bottles bought only by people who already know exactly what's inside. This country has gone from being a world power with an empire that spanned the globe into what can most generously be described as 'a silly place'.

Maybe Americans are the most attractive people in the world. Maybe that's down to plastic surgery and Vogue magazine's insistence on perfection. Maybe it's because they aren't as maniacally paranoid as most current British people. America has ugly loonies too, but we Brits have, I'm sure, the ugliest and the looniest.

At least we are still world leaders at something.


heyjude said...

I dunno!
I'm American and I always heard that Europeans/Scandinavian - tall, thin, athletic and blonde were the attractive ones.

But personally figure those who judge are only looking at Caucasian because I think Indian women (India not Native America) are the most beautiful I've seen.

Well I don't fit on any count!

Regina Richards said...

Golly, maybe I need a new mirror. Mine must not be working properly 'cause I'm an American and I ain't seeing a beauty queen.

heyjude said...

guess it's just to folks in 'the other pasture'
the grass is always greener, etc....

Romulus Crowe said...

Actually the grass is pink on the other side.

I don't know how they do these surveys. Surely it's all subjective?

heyjude said...

So THAT'S why all those folks are even looking over fences anyway?? Looking for pink not greener!

Actually, never heard of it before and thought you might mean 'rose colored glasses'.

At least I have neither snow nor lawn to worry about but like to avoid pink tides.

Gina said...

Last time I read a survey like that it said the most beautiful people were to be found in Iceland! No joke!

Southern Writer said...

I'll bet that survey was taken in America. Puh-leaze. We have our share of mediocre and ugly, too. Besides, if you ask me, I've always thought the world's most beautiful women are Asian (such delicate features and slender physiques) and the best-looking men are ... everywhere!

Romulus Crowe said...

It might be, as Heyjude said, a case of 'the grass is greener...'

It might also be pure boring biological genetics. The same reason we aren't (normally) attracted to siblings. Partners who are too similar risk producing Deliverance banjo-players. The further someone's DNA mix is from our own, the less likely we'd have the same recessive genetic disorders and the less likely we'd be to produce oddities.

So from a dry and callous scientific viewpoint, a distant potential partner is more attractive than a nearby one.

It's a good thing I didn't write that on Valentine's Day. I might have been lynched for reducing love to Spock-like logic!

And before you ask, no, I don't have pointy ears and have never said the words 'That's illogical, captain'.

L.A. Mitchell said...

Romulus...this made me laugh out loud...thank you for that :D

While I was an exchange student in Munich, I had a brief summer love with Manchester boy. He was my only dip into the pool of all things British, but he was a great ambassador.

tom sheepandgoats said...

Maybe Americans are the most attractive people in the world.

Yes, it's absolutely true. I'll forward you my picture soon for proof (assuming I succeed in sucking in the gut)

They're attractive enough, I guess, but they tend to be rather....um....large. Didn't Europeans used to gasp when Americans would disboard planes, and the ramp would bound up and down with each step? But now I hear Brits are pretty large, too.

Romulus Crowe said...

I thought that was your picture on the blog?

Two of you look like perfectly normal people, but the hairy one in the middle could do with a little work.

tom sheepandgoats said...

Ahem.....my "about" page plainly states that I AM the hairy one in the middle. As for that grinning imbecile on my right, I have no idea who that is.

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