Thursday, June 29, 2006

Read the manual.

An amateur ghosthunter phoned today, asking for advice. Since she was smart enough to ask, I gave it.

She wanted to know which of the local graveyards was the best place to catch a ghost.

My answer: none of them.

People don't die in graveyards. They are buried in them, several days after they have died. If they hang around as a ghost, they do it in places they remember, or in the place where they died. Ghosts are not conveniently stacked up in cemeteries, alongside their corpses. They don't rest in their coffins during the day, like vampires.

Cemeteries are dead, if you’ll pardon the pun. Ghosts have no reason to be there. The only thing you’ll catch in a cemetery is a cold.

She took exception to this (for reasons that I don’t care to try to understand) and launched into a tirade. It ended with “I do have a brain, you know”.

I suggested she read the instructions before using it.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Walked through a lot of old ruins on a trip to Mexico. Our guide claimed one of the ancient tribes of Mexico believed that a person's spirit stayed where they died and so they tended to bury the body where the death took place.

This caused a problem because if the person died in their home, they buried the body there, but since it was also one of their taboos that you couldn't dwell over a grave, they'd have to move house. Seems an inconvinent mythology.

Romulus Crowe said...

Well, most religions like to make things difficult for their followers.

Mexico - were they Inca, Aztec or Toltec, or another group? The Zapotecs were particularly interesting.

My geography is not too precise for that region.

Anonymous said...

I should have paid more attention to deatails like tribal names, but I was on vacation - brain disengaged, ya know.

I mostly remember the story because at the time I imaged someone's ancient grandpa being near death and being forced to sleep outside the stone hut so if he died during the night the family wouldn't have to tear down and reassemble the house.

That sort of treatment might give a ghost good reason to come back and haunt the relatives.

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