Tuesday, January 05, 2010


It's often said that Americans don't understand the British sense of humour because the American psyche doesn't 'get' irony. I don't think that's true. I've met several Americans and most of them understand the concept perfectly well.

The ones who should be on irony alert these days seem to be the British media. For today, without a hint of a smirk, Sky News carries two stories.

One describes how climate change (aka global warming) will be of benefit to farmers because it'll make it easier to grow crops. Demonstrating a spectacular lack of understanding of current British agriculture, a former president of the National Farmer's Union said:

"Maize, which has only really been seen in the south, will start to be grown further north, as will soft fruits like strawberries and raspberries, and more grape varieties will become viable in much of the UK."

I live north of Aberdeen. My garden grows strawberries and raspberries and plums and blueberries already, and has done for years. I didn't even plant the raspberries. They are wild ones. The problem we have here is not the cold - because it's not cold in the summer. The problem is the length of daylight hours. Crops that can be completed before the days shorten will grow perfectly well. Crops that need a few more weeks of daylight won't make it, no matter how warm it gets. Climate change won't change that.

Anyway, the govenrment plans to take control of farming because they think they know more about it than farmers. I think I'd better plant more vegetables this year.

Along with the standard 'it's going to get warmer' story we've heard for about a decade with no tangible effects, Sky news has one on the current weather situation in the UK.

It's the coldest winter for a hundred years. Fountains in London are frozen over. I can't remember the last time that happened. The whole country is at a standstill, power supplies can't cope and road grit is in short supply because nobody stocked up... because everyone believed there would be no more harsh winters because the world was warming.

I don't think sacking the people who made up the hockey stick graph is enough. I think they should be prosecuted. People are dying in the cold here because the authorities actually fell for the 'grapes growing in Scotland' stories and made preparations for the mildest of winters. This current cold is forecast to last well into January and beyond. It's hit -18C (-2F) in places and that's without windchill. Roads are unploughed, ungritted and impassable. We used to cope perfectly well with this kind of weather - before the climate criminals convinced everyone they'd never need the ploughs and grit again.

Both stories from the same source on the same day. Don't tell me Americans don't get irony. British news sources certainly don't.

Oh, and if you still plan to convince people that global warming is more than just a profitable scam, I'd wait a month or two if I were you. Trying it today could get you a punch in the face.


Southern Writer said...

Raspberries are my favorite. Yum.

Just as they were having that big international meeting on global warming recently, someone tweeted about it on Twitter. I tweeted back that global warming is a hoax. I didn't know something silent (the internet) could become even moresilent. I think about 20 people stopped following me.

ver: clipa

belongs above. "It's a clipa ship, sugah'. Y'all never seen one before?"

Southern Writer said...

Yet another post script from me: I'm not saying that we shouldn't clean up the earth, and keep it clean. Our water has become undrinkable, our air unbreathable, our crops inedible. We're killing off species that I personally think are pretty cool and that I'd like to keep around. But yeah, why create a lie around it? Do our collective governments think that's the only way they can get us to act? Sadly, they may be right. In a way, I don't care that it's all a lie, if it works. In this case, the ends may justify the means.

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