Tuesday, February 19, 2008

How to torment your children.

Sometimes, people tell me I have an unusual name. Well, it's better than being one of the millions of John Smith's out there and it could have been much, much worse.

I spotted this book on Amazon UK. You can look at an excerpt without buying it (a nice feature but I bought it anyway). Scroll on to the first page of names, and there you will see 'Herbert Slap Aldhous' and 'Onesiphorous Ankers', among others. All real names taken from birth, death and marriage records. Many of them made me feel really quite ordinary.

The British can be quite cruel to their children sometimes.


ThatGreenyFlower said...

We have our share of cruel parents on this side of the pond as well. It's amazing to me that people aren't thinking more before they write a name on a birth certificate.

I have a friend who was a nurse at a pediatric clinic for many years. She SWEARS to me that she met a child named Shithead. Pronounced /shi THEED/.

The word ver word today is wizwabrb. I think I'll name my next child Wizwabrb.

Romulus Crowe said...

Hi Greeny

I once met Doctor Death. Seriously. He pronounced it D'Eath and my first thought was 'Well, I wouldn't have'. Imagine passing up the chance to introduce yourself as Dr. Death! Heck, I'd have worn a black cape and carried a scythe.

Mind you, his first name was Richard which was an act of wanton cruelty by his parents for sure.

Wizwabrb sounds like a better option than most!

Dikkii said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Dikkii said...

Hope you don't mind, Mr Crowe, but you're tagged.

Party on.

Romulus Crowe said...

An odd tag but I'll give it a go.

1. Grab the nearest book (that is at least 123 pages long).
2. Open to p. 123.
3. Go down to the 5th sentence.
4. Type in the following 3 sentences.
5. Tag five people.

The only part I'm going to have trouble with is tagging five. Most people I've spoken to don't blog any more (no, I don't think it's me) and of the few that are left, Dikkii's already tagged one.

Prepare for the surprise visitor, bloggers.

tom sheepandgoats said...


"Nosmo King" for a first and middle name? It came from a dimwitted parent who hadn't really thought of a name until she was in the hospital and the No Smoking sign caught her attention.

Oranjello and Lemojello came about in the same way.

And of course, there were the American philanthropists....sisters....named Ima and Ura Hogg.

Google the names.

Oops. I just did. It's only half true, it seems. There was a Ima, but not a Ura.

Rats! That's why I hate checking facts!

Romulus Crowe said...

The book's arrived. Almost all the names are from census, birth/marriage/death records. There really was a Dick Wiper (1913-1998) and a Harry Terrible Philips (born 1899). The whole thing is a testament to the cruelty of parents. I mean, if your surname is Rotch, why would you name your son Mike unless you hated him from the moment he was born?

I'm just glad mine weren't so imaginative.

I also included another 'stop smoking' book in that order. None have worked so far but I'm hoping the effect will be cumulative. Nicotine patches are a con - it's still money to the tobacco companies and it's still nicotine addiction. I'm in agreement with all the books I've read on that point.

opinions powered by SendLove.to