Monday, February 05, 2007

Easy Writer.

I have an idea for a non-fiction book that will take no time at all to write, cost little to produce and will likely make a fortune. Perhaps one of the writers out there can tell me how I would pitch (I believe that’s the term) this idea to an editor somewhere? Preferably one with no moral fibre or conscience.

It’s called ‘Are you an idiot?’

The world contains only two basic types of people: idiots and smart people.
Each group contains a range of intelligence, but for simplicity I’ll just refer to ‘smart people’ and ‘idiots’.

Now, the smart people know they’re not idiots, while the idiots all think they’re smart. So the target audience for this book consists of the idiots, by far the largest single demographic in the world today. They will buy the book because they’re idiots and want to prove they’re not, but will never admit to having bought it. Therefore they will not share the book. Every idiot in the world will buy their own copy.

The book consists of a hardcover edition, bound in fake leather with the words ‘Are you an idiot?’ embossed in gold leaf on the cover.

It will retail at £200.

Inside the book is a single page, bearing this text:

‘Are you completely untouched by the insistent noise of conscious thought?

You’ve just paid £200 for a one-page book.

Can you work it out?’

‘If not, sign up for the Romulus Crowe six-week course to discover just how stupid you are. A bargain at only £500 per week.’

I can’t see any reason why this should not be a runaway success. Does anyone see a flaw in the logic here?


tom sheepandgoats said...


I would counsel against it. My own book, How to Make a Million Dollars, has not done well at all. To be sure, I priced it sort of high: $1,000,000, but I figure I only have to sell one copy.

Romulus Crowe said...

Tom, you need to look at the small ads.

In there you'll find 'How to get rich - send $5 to...' or something similar.

It's an old scam. It'll tell you, for $5, to put the same ad in as many papers as you can. People will send you $5 for this same information.

The amount is small enough that people don't complain. It works also on the embarrasment factor, which my proposal uses.

Nobody wants to admit they've been conned.

So cut the price of your book, and it'll work.

The only things you have to sacrifice are your conscience, and the ability to sleep at night.

opinions powered by