Wednesday, January 24, 2007

The weak speak.

What is wrong with this country?

The meteorological office has issued a severe weather warning. What's coming? A hurricane? Tornado? Blizzard?

No, what's coming is a bit of ice on the road, and some sleet. The article states 'there has been a centimetre or two of snow in places'. That's about half an inch.

If this slight inconvenience requires a severe warning, what are they going to do when the snow reaches three feet in depth? Tear out their hair and wail from the rooftops? Cry 'Armageddon!' and jump off tall buildings? Well, we can but hope.

There is no snow here. None. The rooftops are clear, it's all melted away. Images on the news describing 'commuter chaos' and late trains show snow cover so thin it could have been spray-painted on.

The 'safety' crowd are jumping at shadows again. There is no severe weather here. There is an annoying total cloud cover that makes it difficult to go out and take photos, but that's it.

These people are turning this country into a nation of soft, weak morons. Events like this, in the past, were described only as 'light snow' with a mention of possible ice and a caution to drivers. Severe weather meant snow so deep you couldn't find your car, and it wasn't worth digging it out if you did. Now it means you might slip a bit if you're not careful.

We seem to be getting severe weather warnings every week. What that means is that when we get a real one - when a hurricane finally makes it this far north - we're all going to think 'Oh, right, severe weather. Better put an overcoat on'.

Save the warnings for when the weather really is severe. Otherwise we're going to ignore the real warnings when they come.


tom sheepandgoats said...

The trouble with you sissies is that you're soft! Wimps!!

Why, back in my day, we didn't have heated vehicles to take us to school! We WALKED!! TEN miles a day. And it was uphill! BOTH WAYS!

That joke is anything but original. It's been kicking around for years. But it may not have gotten to UK. Has it?

THIS joke, though, is original. I was using it 5 years ago, but recently, whether coincidence or theft (probably the former), I've seen it in other places: it's the modenrn day version of "you kids are soft!"

Back in my day, we didn't have these sissy remotes! If we wanted to change channels, we got up from our chairs and we WALKED!

Don't tell ME about tough.

And when John Glenn rode the space shuttle a few years back, some cartoonist had him haranguing the younger astronauts for being wimps and softies, not like in his day.

Romulus Crowe said...

Ah, if only it was just a joke...but the UK's transport system really does consider a half-inch of snow as 'severe weather'.

Actually, I remember coming home from university for a visit, when I was younger. My parents had a new TV. They went out, I sat in front of the TV until I could bear no more, and got up to change the channel.

There was no way to do it! No buttons! I gave up and switched it off. Turned out they had one of the new remote-controlled TV's, and I hadn't noticed the controller.

Now I have remotes for TV, video, DVD, even for the CD player, and there are many, many buttons on each controller. I have no idea what most of them do. If I lose those controllers, there's no way to tune in the channels on any of these devices.

I fitted a new radio/CD player in my car some time ago. It came with a remote control! Did they think I'd fit it where I wouldn't be able to reach it?

The funny thing is, our government is worrying about increasing obesity - yet everything has a remote control, so nobody needs move from their chair any more. I saw an ad for a 4-inch pocket TV set that came with a remote control. How far are you going to stand from a 4-inch screen? There's even talk of a fridge that records what you have, and orders whatever you're running out of! No need to drag yourself even as far as the computer to order stuff.

We're all going to turn into jellyfish one day.

Oh yes, we do have those kind of jokes in the UK, usually attributed to Northerners, especially those from Yorkshire. Monty Python's Flying Circus once did a Yorkshiremen sketch that took it to its logical extreme. 'I used to have to get to work half an hour before I went to bed, pay for permission to work, and when we came home each night, our parents would kill us and dance on our graves.'

It ended with 'And you try and tell the young people of today that. They won't believe you.'

I wonder if it's on YouTube?

Romulus Crowe said...

Yes it is:

It's a new version, but still funny.

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