Thursday, January 04, 2007

New Year lunacy

It seems the addled brains of those in charge have not been improved by being dipped in alcohol over the festive season.

We are running out of nurses and doctors, but we have an oversupply of over 3000 consultants in the medical profession.

What do our empty suits intend to do about this? Why, they intend to cut costs. And where are those cost cuts to be applied? Nurses’ salaries, of course.

What happened to supply and demand, that cornerstone of economics? We are short of nurses. We have too many consultants. Therefore, as must be obvious to even the most IQ-challenged administrator, nurses are more valuable than consultants at the moment.

How is tightening nurses’ pay going to encourage new nurses to join the profession? Answer that, accountants.

Surely it's obvious that since the sums paid to consultants are more attractive, so doctors become consultants, the pool of doctors declines, the pool of consultants increases. Supply and demand. An oversupplied service means you can haggle over the price. An undersupplied service means you can’t.

If I ever get sick, I’m staying home until I get better or die. There’s no point going to a hospital. If you have something expensive, they won’t treat you. If they do let you in, you’re at the mercy of overstretched, stressed and understandably short-tempered nursing staff. Plus you’ll have your account regularly assessed by a shiny suit with a dull brain on top and once you go over the cost margin, out you go.

It doesn’t bode well for the ghosthunters of the future. They’ll have to deal with the contents of those empty suits. At least they won’t be troublesome since they’ll haunt by committee and therefore never actually decide to do anything.

I don’t want to take money with me when I die. I want to take a large piece of wood with a nail through it. I’ll call it ‘The Educator’.

I just wish I was allowed to use it while still alive.

3 comments:

Southern Writer said...

I feel the same way about going to a hospital. Around here, visiting one is the quickest, easiest way to get sick. The health system in our country is just as bad, but I don't have a whole lot of sympathy for nurses, either. First, they make about $30 an hour, the poor things. And some acquaintences of mine who are nurses are so scatterbrained and literally nutso, it scares me to death to think they're holding patient's lives in their hands. As an example, one of them got mad and went on a hundred mile an hour chase down a dark winding road, stopped, backed up, and deliberately crashed her $40K car into her boyfriend's $45K car. That's someone I trust to give me the proper medication? I don't think so.

I have nothing against the other side. When it's my turn to go, I'm going without complaint.

Victor Allen Winters said...

SW - Nurses are human too.

Rom - This world (or at least the people in it) will never make sense. I just hope all of that changes after this life (but I think stupidity is as much a part of a personality as say a fondness for practical jokes).

Romulus Crowe said...

I have a terrible feeling there might be as many stupid ghosts as there are stupid people. Their only saving grace is that we can't see them. Yet.

If, when I die, I am greeted by the 'Afterlife Retraining Committee' or some such, my first goal will be to discover whether the dead can inflict pain on each other.

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