3. The Giant Stone Balls of Costa Rica.
Huge carved stone balls, some six feet wide, litter the ground of parts of Costa Rica. In a world where humans have built Stonehenge, the pyramids and the carved heads of Easter Island, do these even need any explanation?
There is a quarry, some fifty miles from where some of the stones were found. How did they get there? Well, I would suggest that if you have several tons of rock, moving it from one place to another would be difficult if it was shaped like the rectangles of Stonehenge, the heads of Easter Island or the shaped blocks of the Egyptian or Inca pyramids. Stonehenge's bluestones, in particular, were moved hundreds of miles from their source to the place of construction.
By comparison, moving a stone shaped like a sphere would be a simple job indeed.
How were they cut so accurately? Actually, they aren't perfect spheres although they look pretty impressive to the eye. To check them for roundness during construction, all you need is a critical eye and a length of rope. Put the rope around the rock, note the length, put it around in a different direction and if it's a different length, it's not a sphere yet. More chipping away required.
The amount of chipping, and the fussiness of the builder, might explain why some of those balls are quite small. Some carvers just couldn't stop until it was exactly right.
In a society where nobody has access to laser-sighting equipment and giant calipers, a ball that looks round is good enough to impress the neighbours.
And that, most likely, is what they were for. Humanity hasn't changed all that much. Now it's all about who has the biggest, newest, fastest car or the latest fashionable shoes or the right logos on their T-shirts. People were no different in the old days. On Easter Island they competed for the most ornate stone head. In Egypt, the Pharaohs tried to out-do previous pharaohs with a bigger or more internally complex pyramid. In the UK, one village put up a carved rock, the next village put up a bigger one, the next put up a circle, the next placed huge rocks on top of other huge rocks... and in Costa Rica, they made bigger, rounder stone balls and moved them further than their neighbours.
I mean, really. Aliens? An alien race goes to all the trouble, time and expense to cross the vast gulf of space, makes some huge granite marbles and goes home again? Seriously?
Look at sculptors, ancient and modern. Many living sculptors could produce such a stone ball now, and with modern tools they could make a bigger and rounder one than any in Costa Rica.
These are interesting ancient artefacts. Whether they were part of some religious rite or just the ancient equivalent of garden gnomes, we'll never know. However, they were made by people.
No mystery here at all.
The tale of a serious academic and his battle with the petulant halfwits who call themselves bosses.
Saturday, February 26, 2011
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Interesting things - 3.
4. The Baigong Pipes.
I thought this one would be a challenge, but it's not.
Years ago, I visited Beijing and spent some time at the university there. What struck me about the library was that they had every English language journal available - but the same amount of books in Chinese. I couldn't read Chinese so I could only access half of that library's contents. I was forced to conclude that the students there must know twice as much as me.
All we know about China is what comes out of there translated. In the case of these mysterious pipes, all that seems to be available is one newspaper report.
However, someone with the time and inclination to press this particular matter further has found that the Chinese do, in fact, know exactly what these pipes are.
Fossilised tree casts. Yes, they are palaeontological, not paranormal.
Next.
I thought this one would be a challenge, but it's not.
Years ago, I visited Beijing and spent some time at the university there. What struck me about the library was that they had every English language journal available - but the same amount of books in Chinese. I couldn't read Chinese so I could only access half of that library's contents. I was forced to conclude that the students there must know twice as much as me.
All we know about China is what comes out of there translated. In the case of these mysterious pipes, all that seems to be available is one newspaper report.
However, someone with the time and inclination to press this particular matter further has found that the Chinese do, in fact, know exactly what these pipes are.
Fossilised tree casts. Yes, they are palaeontological, not paranormal.
Next.
Interesting things - 2.
5. The Antikythera mechanism.
This was fished out of the sea many years ago and appears to be a device so complex that it's often said that nobody could have made it at the time.
Evidently, someone did.
There are people in the world today who could start from a sheet of brass and make an accurate watch mechanism. Not very many, but there are some. Nowadays few would bother because many of the cogs and wheels are already available as mass-produced parts, but armed with a few simple tools and a lot of time and skill, it could still be done.
It accurately charts the planets, the moon (including correcting for the moon's elliptical orbit) and performs a whole range of astronomical calculations. All of them accurately. So, is it some mysterious time-travel artefact or a design passed on by aliens?
At the time it was built, astrology was a very serious matter indeed. A device that could accurately predict what the sun, moon and planets would do in the future was a highly desirable thing. It would be something that someone, possibly royalty, would pay a lot of money for. Therefore it was certainly worth some skilled artisan's time to cut all those cogs and gears and make sure the whole device worked.
How did he predict the moon and planetary movements? He didn't. He observed them and replicated the movements in his device. Since each object follows a predictable path, the historical data available to the device's maker would extrapolate very nicely into future data. All he had to do was make sure it gave accurate results for any point in the past, and it would give accurate results for any point in the future.
Easy? Certainly not. Planets don't follow neat circles around the sky, certainly not when seen from Earth. Sometimes they even appear to go backwards for a time. Getting all that into the machine would need a lot of cogs and wheels and that's exactly what this device has.
It was made by someone exceptionally clever, highly skilled and who had time and resources to do it. Most likely it was commissioned by someone very rich, someone who could keep the maker employed solely on this job.
Are there others? Well, you wouldn't pay someone on the promise that they could make something unless you'd seen previous work. So simpler mechanisms were probably produced along the way. As this site says, the Antikythera mechanism contains no errors so it's likely there were prototypes.
Why haven't we found any? Consider how long it takes to cut one accurate cog starting from a sheet of metal. When you have a prototype but need to change some things, you keep all the parts you've made that already work. I'd say the prototypes were most likely cannibalised for parts so the chances of finding one of them will be very slim now.
As for it being the only one, well, it would have taken many years to get this one right and there was no such thing as mass production. It might well have been the only one ever made, especially if the maker or his rich sponsor hid or destroyed the plans and prototypes. Having the only accurate planet-predictor would have been a very powerful thing in those days.
I don't see anything supernatural or inexplicable in this device. It's fascinating, certainly, but it's not beyond the bounds of human ability for the time. All it would need was the backing of a rich sponsor. It would also take someone most of a lifetime to get it right, so finding only one isn't a surprise either.
So it's not inexplicable at all.
The next one might be.
This was fished out of the sea many years ago and appears to be a device so complex that it's often said that nobody could have made it at the time.
Evidently, someone did.
There are people in the world today who could start from a sheet of brass and make an accurate watch mechanism. Not very many, but there are some. Nowadays few would bother because many of the cogs and wheels are already available as mass-produced parts, but armed with a few simple tools and a lot of time and skill, it could still be done.
It accurately charts the planets, the moon (including correcting for the moon's elliptical orbit) and performs a whole range of astronomical calculations. All of them accurately. So, is it some mysterious time-travel artefact or a design passed on by aliens?
At the time it was built, astrology was a very serious matter indeed. A device that could accurately predict what the sun, moon and planets would do in the future was a highly desirable thing. It would be something that someone, possibly royalty, would pay a lot of money for. Therefore it was certainly worth some skilled artisan's time to cut all those cogs and gears and make sure the whole device worked.
How did he predict the moon and planetary movements? He didn't. He observed them and replicated the movements in his device. Since each object follows a predictable path, the historical data available to the device's maker would extrapolate very nicely into future data. All he had to do was make sure it gave accurate results for any point in the past, and it would give accurate results for any point in the future.
Easy? Certainly not. Planets don't follow neat circles around the sky, certainly not when seen from Earth. Sometimes they even appear to go backwards for a time. Getting all that into the machine would need a lot of cogs and wheels and that's exactly what this device has.
It was made by someone exceptionally clever, highly skilled and who had time and resources to do it. Most likely it was commissioned by someone very rich, someone who could keep the maker employed solely on this job.
Are there others? Well, you wouldn't pay someone on the promise that they could make something unless you'd seen previous work. So simpler mechanisms were probably produced along the way. As this site says, the Antikythera mechanism contains no errors so it's likely there were prototypes.
Why haven't we found any? Consider how long it takes to cut one accurate cog starting from a sheet of metal. When you have a prototype but need to change some things, you keep all the parts you've made that already work. I'd say the prototypes were most likely cannibalised for parts so the chances of finding one of them will be very slim now.
As for it being the only one, well, it would have taken many years to get this one right and there was no such thing as mass production. It might well have been the only one ever made, especially if the maker or his rich sponsor hid or destroyed the plans and prototypes. Having the only accurate planet-predictor would have been a very powerful thing in those days.
I don't see anything supernatural or inexplicable in this device. It's fascinating, certainly, but it's not beyond the bounds of human ability for the time. All it would need was the backing of a rich sponsor. It would also take someone most of a lifetime to get it right, so finding only one isn't a surprise either.
So it's not inexplicable at all.
The next one might be.
Monday, February 21, 2011
Interesting things - 1.
There is a site that lists interesting and often amusing things. It's a little on the, well, a lot on the sweary side in many cases. In fact, it reaches the level that used to be called 'profane' in more religious days.
Nonetheless, the information it carries is interesting and it does a good job of pulling togetther collections of related items. Sometimes strongly related and sometimes tenuously, but always there's a link.
One of the collections is 'Six insane discoveries that science can't explain'. Well, let's have a go. They list the things in reverse order so we start with number six.
6. The Voynich manuscript.
Only one copy of this exists and you'll need to get special permission to view it. It's unlikely you'll be allowed to touch it, an attendant with white cotton gloves will turn the pages for you, and as for slapping it on a photocopier, forget it. There is a book about this book, called (predictably) 'The Voynich Manuscript', by Gerry Kennedy and Rob Churchill, 2004, Orion books, London. I have a copy of that book.
So can science explain the Voynich manuscript? Looking at the images in that book and reading the arguments put forward, I would say yes. Science can't translate it, but we can take a good stab at explaining it. There are images of castles and of people dressed in mediaeval style. There are images of crowns, one at least very similar in design to the English royal crown. It is not a mysterious grimoire from the dawn of time, its origin might go as far back as Roger Bacon (mid to late 1200s) but is more likely the creation of Dr. John Dee with the help of Edward Kelley in the 1580s.
Why can't we translate it? First, it's not written in any known (modern or extinct) alphabet. It does not decode into any known language. It might be gibberish or it might be an entirely invented language, much like the modern attempt at Esperanto in Europe.
Not translating it does not equate to an inability to explain it. Currently, it looks like an elaborate fake designed to con gullible rich people out of large amounts of cash. Edward Kelley, at least, was known to be particularly good at that.
I'll look at the others in separate posts, otherwise this is going to turn into a very long essay.
Nonetheless, the information it carries is interesting and it does a good job of pulling togetther collections of related items. Sometimes strongly related and sometimes tenuously, but always there's a link.
One of the collections is 'Six insane discoveries that science can't explain'. Well, let's have a go. They list the things in reverse order so we start with number six.
6. The Voynich manuscript.
Only one copy of this exists and you'll need to get special permission to view it. It's unlikely you'll be allowed to touch it, an attendant with white cotton gloves will turn the pages for you, and as for slapping it on a photocopier, forget it. There is a book about this book, called (predictably) 'The Voynich Manuscript', by Gerry Kennedy and Rob Churchill, 2004, Orion books, London. I have a copy of that book.
So can science explain the Voynich manuscript? Looking at the images in that book and reading the arguments put forward, I would say yes. Science can't translate it, but we can take a good stab at explaining it. There are images of castles and of people dressed in mediaeval style. There are images of crowns, one at least very similar in design to the English royal crown. It is not a mysterious grimoire from the dawn of time, its origin might go as far back as Roger Bacon (mid to late 1200s) but is more likely the creation of Dr. John Dee with the help of Edward Kelley in the 1580s.
Why can't we translate it? First, it's not written in any known (modern or extinct) alphabet. It does not decode into any known language. It might be gibberish or it might be an entirely invented language, much like the modern attempt at Esperanto in Europe.
Not translating it does not equate to an inability to explain it. Currently, it looks like an elaborate fake designed to con gullible rich people out of large amounts of cash. Edward Kelley, at least, was known to be particularly good at that.
I'll look at the others in separate posts, otherwise this is going to turn into a very long essay.
Thursday, February 10, 2011
The Merchant of Green Death.
New Scientist, 5th February 2011, issue 2798, page 27. Article 'One minute with Lester Brown'.
This is a man banging on about climate change but whose background is in agriculture and economics. He is no more qualified in climate modelling and weather prediction than I am, and I am not.
His argument on the issues facing water supplies are perfectly correct. Taking water from underground aquifers faster than they are replenished will, most definitely, lead to severe problems in the future. That, I agree with absolutely and based on his qualifications in agriculture and economics, I fully accept his timescales for the future problems.
However, this has nothing at all to do with climate change, whether man-made, natural, or due to comet strike or dancing medicine men. The forthcoming water shortages are caused by people pumping water from wells faster than it drains into those wells. The climate is irrelevant.
Nonetheless, he uses this to demand a restructuring of the world economy along his lines and to demand we all (well, not him personally of course) return to mediaeval life for the sake of the climate. He ends with this:
It's about becoming politically active. If there's a coal-fired power station near you, organise to close it down.
They've already tried. The unwashed, uneducated drones who follow the new religion of the Green God have tried to shut down a power station. They will succeed one day.
When they do, all those life-support machines, baby incubators, kidney dialysis, monitoring equipment, in every hospital, will stop working. Just like that. No warning. No backup. They just stop.
In windowless operating theatres where patients lie with some part or other of their innards exposed, the lights will go out and the anaesthetic machinery will stop working. You want to imagine something really horrible? Imagine waking in the dark surrounded by the sound of panicking people and realising your abdomen is open and it hurts.
In every pensioner's home, in every nursery, the heat will go off. Lights too. All security systems will be inoperative, all street lights off, all those CCTV cameras will be dead and it won't take the criminals long to work out what that means.
Even if you have gas central heating, the controller and the pumps are electric. They won't work either.
Try to leave town, and find that the pumps that put petrol in your car are electric. You won't get far.
This is the scenario that the Green God's followers want to bring to reality. They have the full support of Lester Brown, president of the Earth Policy Institute.
Science has become a dangerous fascist entity. To Science, we are just statistics, not human beings. If they get their way there will be a cull. Science, like religion, cannot be trusted with politics. They are too convinced of their own Righteousness.
How will they decide who to cull? It would be difficult unless there was some way to collect everyone's DNA and catalogue it. Then, Science can dispassionately decide who is useless.
The irony is, most of those unwashed Green eco-warriors are certain to be on the list.
This is a man banging on about climate change but whose background is in agriculture and economics. He is no more qualified in climate modelling and weather prediction than I am, and I am not.
His argument on the issues facing water supplies are perfectly correct. Taking water from underground aquifers faster than they are replenished will, most definitely, lead to severe problems in the future. That, I agree with absolutely and based on his qualifications in agriculture and economics, I fully accept his timescales for the future problems.
However, this has nothing at all to do with climate change, whether man-made, natural, or due to comet strike or dancing medicine men. The forthcoming water shortages are caused by people pumping water from wells faster than it drains into those wells. The climate is irrelevant.
Nonetheless, he uses this to demand a restructuring of the world economy along his lines and to demand we all (well, not him personally of course) return to mediaeval life for the sake of the climate. He ends with this:
It's about becoming politically active. If there's a coal-fired power station near you, organise to close it down.
They've already tried. The unwashed, uneducated drones who follow the new religion of the Green God have tried to shut down a power station. They will succeed one day.
When they do, all those life-support machines, baby incubators, kidney dialysis, monitoring equipment, in every hospital, will stop working. Just like that. No warning. No backup. They just stop.
In windowless operating theatres where patients lie with some part or other of their innards exposed, the lights will go out and the anaesthetic machinery will stop working. You want to imagine something really horrible? Imagine waking in the dark surrounded by the sound of panicking people and realising your abdomen is open and it hurts.
In every pensioner's home, in every nursery, the heat will go off. Lights too. All security systems will be inoperative, all street lights off, all those CCTV cameras will be dead and it won't take the criminals long to work out what that means.
Even if you have gas central heating, the controller and the pumps are electric. They won't work either.
Try to leave town, and find that the pumps that put petrol in your car are electric. You won't get far.
This is the scenario that the Green God's followers want to bring to reality. They have the full support of Lester Brown, president of the Earth Policy Institute.
Science has become a dangerous fascist entity. To Science, we are just statistics, not human beings. If they get their way there will be a cull. Science, like religion, cannot be trusted with politics. They are too convinced of their own Righteousness.
How will they decide who to cull? It would be difficult unless there was some way to collect everyone's DNA and catalogue it. Then, Science can dispassionately decide who is useless.
The irony is, most of those unwashed Green eco-warriors are certain to be on the list.
Tuesday, February 08, 2011
Rollerspook.
Work on a new roller-coaster has stirred up some ghostly activity. Hardly surprising since they were digging fifty-foot foundation holes in an area that was well frequented even in the seventh century. There must have been a lot of travellers killed on that road over such a long time.
The park officials called in experts who stated, through their claimed paranormal contacts, that the ride was on the site of an ancient burial ground. The experts went on to say that they captured a lot more orbs at the site than at other nearby spots. For me, that was a major groan time.
Orbs are dust. This has been demonstrated over and over and over. I've demonstrated it myself. They are reflections picked up by digital cameras which can see infrared. You'd expect a lot more dust, and therefore more orbs, at a building site than on undisturbed ground nearby. It's not rocket science and it's not paranormal science either. My faith in these experts was severely shaken as soon as they came out with the O-word.
And yet they correctly identified the burial ground. Ah, but...
The ride's foundations would have been over 15m (49ft) deep in an area of the theme park where stone coffins have previously been excavated.
The burial ground was already documented. Nil points for that one. Identify a previously unidentified burial ground and be proved right, and you're in business. Identify a known burial site and you're going to get laughed at.
The ghosts, however, are likely to be genuine. They were convincing enough for the entire ride to be moved to another site because the builders refused to work there. I can't see what the builders would gain from having to start all over again somewhere else since they've likely been contracted for a fixed price for the job. They wouldn't do it for fun. They can't negotiate a new price since the builders, not the park owners, wanted the thing moved.
What interests me most of all is that if the builders routinely saw ghosts at the site, why did the 'experts' content themselves with blurry dust photos? Where are the names and the faces of these ghosts? Where is, at the least, a sense of whether these ghosts were angry, distressed, or just interested in what was going on?
'Expert' doesn't seem to mean what it used to.
Oh, and headless ghosts are not necessarily ghosts of the beheaded. Close your eyes and imagine yourself. You can picture your body, arms and legs easily because you see them every day. It's harder to picture your head because that's where your eyes are.
Now imagine you had to manifest as a spirit. You can check your arms and legs are in the right place but you have no way to tell if you've manifested your head at all.
'Headless' can mean no more than 'Well, I thought it was there...'
The park officials called in experts who stated, through their claimed paranormal contacts, that the ride was on the site of an ancient burial ground. The experts went on to say that they captured a lot more orbs at the site than at other nearby spots. For me, that was a major groan time.
Orbs are dust. This has been demonstrated over and over and over. I've demonstrated it myself. They are reflections picked up by digital cameras which can see infrared. You'd expect a lot more dust, and therefore more orbs, at a building site than on undisturbed ground nearby. It's not rocket science and it's not paranormal science either. My faith in these experts was severely shaken as soon as they came out with the O-word.
And yet they correctly identified the burial ground. Ah, but...
The ride's foundations would have been over 15m (49ft) deep in an area of the theme park where stone coffins have previously been excavated.
The burial ground was already documented. Nil points for that one. Identify a previously unidentified burial ground and be proved right, and you're in business. Identify a known burial site and you're going to get laughed at.
The ghosts, however, are likely to be genuine. They were convincing enough for the entire ride to be moved to another site because the builders refused to work there. I can't see what the builders would gain from having to start all over again somewhere else since they've likely been contracted for a fixed price for the job. They wouldn't do it for fun. They can't negotiate a new price since the builders, not the park owners, wanted the thing moved.
What interests me most of all is that if the builders routinely saw ghosts at the site, why did the 'experts' content themselves with blurry dust photos? Where are the names and the faces of these ghosts? Where is, at the least, a sense of whether these ghosts were angry, distressed, or just interested in what was going on?
'Expert' doesn't seem to mean what it used to.
Oh, and headless ghosts are not necessarily ghosts of the beheaded. Close your eyes and imagine yourself. You can picture your body, arms and legs easily because you see them every day. It's harder to picture your head because that's where your eyes are.
Now imagine you had to manifest as a spirit. You can check your arms and legs are in the right place but you have no way to tell if you've manifested your head at all.
'Headless' can mean no more than 'Well, I thought it was there...'
Saturday, February 05, 2011
A darker shade of green.
All those windmills, all standing on massive eco-disaster concrete blocks, all needing eco-disaster paved roads for access by eco-disaster diesel trucks carrying eco-disaster steel and synthetic spare parts, all of them are the twinkle in the swivelling eye of every Green lunatic.
They are good for the environment, you see. They use marvellous neodymium magnets which boosts their efficiency to the point where they might one day compete with tallow candles and dried cow faeces as fuel. One day.
Neodymium is a 'rare earth' metal. That does not mean it's scarce. It means that, unlike commonly available metals, it does not occur in handy seams of ore. It's scattered in tiny bits all over the planet. China produces most of it at the moment but that is not because China has all the reserves. The stuff is everywhere.
It's because China is the only country that will stand for what happens when you extract neodymium. For the magnets in the windmills.
It's good for the environment, we are told.
The Chinese people might not quite agree.
Greens, welcome to the dark side of your religion.
They are good for the environment, you see. They use marvellous neodymium magnets which boosts their efficiency to the point where they might one day compete with tallow candles and dried cow faeces as fuel. One day.
Neodymium is a 'rare earth' metal. That does not mean it's scarce. It means that, unlike commonly available metals, it does not occur in handy seams of ore. It's scattered in tiny bits all over the planet. China produces most of it at the moment but that is not because China has all the reserves. The stuff is everywhere.
It's because China is the only country that will stand for what happens when you extract neodymium. For the magnets in the windmills.
It's good for the environment, we are told.
The Chinese people might not quite agree.
Greens, welcome to the dark side of your religion.
Saturday, January 29, 2011
Ghost Revival.
Most British people think it is possible to communicate with the dead. This is especially remarkable because very few believe it is possible to communicate with a living politician. Perhaps we'd have better luck if they were dead. It must surely be worth a try.
Even so, it's encouraging news, even if many of those 'believers' are determined to talk to Princess Diana, an ex-member of the Royal Family and hardly someone you'd expect to chat to at the supermarket checkout.
Why does everyone think that talking to the dead involves a fireside rumination with royalty or an ectoplasmic flirtation with Marylin Monroe? Just as in real life, most dead people are commoners and some are downright bores. One thing that would alert me to the possibility of a fake psychic is the apparent ability to call up famous dead people at will. Or indeed, the ability to call up anyone. That's not mediumship, that's necromancy and that's nasty.
One thing I would really like to try is to get two of the most obviously fake psychics and send them a client each. Those clients would ask the fakes to call up the same ghost at the same time. Obviously, the fakes won't be in on the game.
I'll bet they'll both get a result and I'll bet the ghost, while appearing at two locations simultaneously, will also exhibit two completely different characters. I will further bet that neither fake will hear from this ghost that he/she is being called away to another sitting. Have you ever seen that happen on TV?
No real psychic can claim 100% success. No real psychic can call up just the right number of spirits to fill a TV programme week after week with never a blank spot and never a random spirit who isn't involved with anyone in the room. No real psychic would ever call up any spirit at all, they would just have to deal with whoever turned up. Real psychics can learn to shut them out but never to force an appearance of a specific spirit. Fakes annoy me.
All the same, it is encouraging to find that I am not working in a totally disparaged field. There are those who laugh and dismiss the entire subject, but there always have been and always will be.
It's nice to know they are not the majority.
Even so, it's encouraging news, even if many of those 'believers' are determined to talk to Princess Diana, an ex-member of the Royal Family and hardly someone you'd expect to chat to at the supermarket checkout.
Why does everyone think that talking to the dead involves a fireside rumination with royalty or an ectoplasmic flirtation with Marylin Monroe? Just as in real life, most dead people are commoners and some are downright bores. One thing that would alert me to the possibility of a fake psychic is the apparent ability to call up famous dead people at will. Or indeed, the ability to call up anyone. That's not mediumship, that's necromancy and that's nasty.
One thing I would really like to try is to get two of the most obviously fake psychics and send them a client each. Those clients would ask the fakes to call up the same ghost at the same time. Obviously, the fakes won't be in on the game.
I'll bet they'll both get a result and I'll bet the ghost, while appearing at two locations simultaneously, will also exhibit two completely different characters. I will further bet that neither fake will hear from this ghost that he/she is being called away to another sitting. Have you ever seen that happen on TV?
No real psychic can claim 100% success. No real psychic can call up just the right number of spirits to fill a TV programme week after week with never a blank spot and never a random spirit who isn't involved with anyone in the room. No real psychic would ever call up any spirit at all, they would just have to deal with whoever turned up. Real psychics can learn to shut them out but never to force an appearance of a specific spirit. Fakes annoy me.
All the same, it is encouraging to find that I am not working in a totally disparaged field. There are those who laugh and dismiss the entire subject, but there always have been and always will be.
It's nice to know they are not the majority.
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Granny wins again.
My grandmother was a fount of wisdom, usually delivered with a scowl and a clip around the ear. Then again, I was never short of comics or pocket money. A fearsome woman, short and square and apparently made of ill-tempered brick, but when it came to family she knew which side to take.
Stung by nettles? Crush dockleaf and rub it in. Gut problems? Apples. If she resorted to pharmaceuticals, it went as far as calamine lotion, kaolin and morphine or aspirin. No further.
One treatment for warts was the sap from dandelions. Snap off the flower and the white exudate would kill a wart. Incidentally, dandelion flowers make good wine, the leaves are good in salads and the roots can be eaten boiled or fried. Don't be too hasty with that weedkiller.
Science is catching up with Grandma. They have now found that non-melanoma skin cancers (warts) can be cured with topical application of milkweed sap. Somewhere in the spirit world, Grandma is administering an ectoplasmic smack across the head to a scientist. She knew about that years ago.
The odd thing about science is that when you read about marvellous cures for this and that, they involve some exotic Polynesian fruit or rare Transylvanian herb. Blueberries and cranberries abound in these papers, as do kiwi fruit and starfruit and yams. One fruit they ignore, in all cases, is the humble apple.
I did test them. Since testing them I have planted two apple trees in my garden. Draw your own conclusions.
The arrogance of modern science and medicine is leading to their downfall. The 'five-a-day' fruit and vegetable recommendation, or the '21 units of alcohol' limit for example - have you seen the research from which these figures were derived? I can state with absolute confidence that you have not. There was no research. Both figures were simply made up.
Now, the most effective way of leaving tobacco ever invented is to be banned on the lack of understanding displayed by an idiot:
Democrat Linda Rosenthal, or the New York Assembly, said: 'I got interested in this because I saw all these ads for e-cigarettes, so I did some research.
'I found what is in the e-cigarettes is a mystery.'
She didn't do very much research. Every electrosmoking website I've seen details exactly what's in them. Water and propylene glycol or glycerol (common and safe food additives) for the 'smoke', flavouring of all kinds and nicotine. The nicotine is optional. I have zero-nicotine electrosmoking fluid that works, for me, just as well. The addiction story is, and always has been, nonsense.
It's going to be banned to protect the interests of the pharmaceutical companies selling patches and gum and to keep tobacco revenues pouring in. If you live in New York and vote for these people, you are voting to keep smokers on tobacco because the patches and gum have never worked and never will. Electrosmoking does work. If you like being surrounded by smokers, vote for Linda Rosenthal. If you think smokers should get a safer alternative that produces no ash, butts or smell, vote that idiot out at the first opportunity.
There is no science any more. Rely on Granny because those who claim to 'know best' cannot be trusted. They have been proven to be just making up their results, time and again.
Now they are claiming credit for knowledge Granny learned from her own Granny.
That's just despicable.
Stung by nettles? Crush dockleaf and rub it in. Gut problems? Apples. If she resorted to pharmaceuticals, it went as far as calamine lotion, kaolin and morphine or aspirin. No further.
One treatment for warts was the sap from dandelions. Snap off the flower and the white exudate would kill a wart. Incidentally, dandelion flowers make good wine, the leaves are good in salads and the roots can be eaten boiled or fried. Don't be too hasty with that weedkiller.
Science is catching up with Grandma. They have now found that non-melanoma skin cancers (warts) can be cured with topical application of milkweed sap. Somewhere in the spirit world, Grandma is administering an ectoplasmic smack across the head to a scientist. She knew about that years ago.
The odd thing about science is that when you read about marvellous cures for this and that, they involve some exotic Polynesian fruit or rare Transylvanian herb. Blueberries and cranberries abound in these papers, as do kiwi fruit and starfruit and yams. One fruit they ignore, in all cases, is the humble apple.
I did test them. Since testing them I have planted two apple trees in my garden. Draw your own conclusions.
The arrogance of modern science and medicine is leading to their downfall. The 'five-a-day' fruit and vegetable recommendation, or the '21 units of alcohol' limit for example - have you seen the research from which these figures were derived? I can state with absolute confidence that you have not. There was no research. Both figures were simply made up.
Now, the most effective way of leaving tobacco ever invented is to be banned on the lack of understanding displayed by an idiot:
Democrat Linda Rosenthal, or the New York Assembly, said: 'I got interested in this because I saw all these ads for e-cigarettes, so I did some research.
'I found what is in the e-cigarettes is a mystery.'
She didn't do very much research. Every electrosmoking website I've seen details exactly what's in them. Water and propylene glycol or glycerol (common and safe food additives) for the 'smoke', flavouring of all kinds and nicotine. The nicotine is optional. I have zero-nicotine electrosmoking fluid that works, for me, just as well. The addiction story is, and always has been, nonsense.
It's going to be banned to protect the interests of the pharmaceutical companies selling patches and gum and to keep tobacco revenues pouring in. If you live in New York and vote for these people, you are voting to keep smokers on tobacco because the patches and gum have never worked and never will. Electrosmoking does work. If you like being surrounded by smokers, vote for Linda Rosenthal. If you think smokers should get a safer alternative that produces no ash, butts or smell, vote that idiot out at the first opportunity.
There is no science any more. Rely on Granny because those who claim to 'know best' cannot be trusted. They have been proven to be just making up their results, time and again.
Now they are claiming credit for knowledge Granny learned from her own Granny.
That's just despicable.
Saturday, January 22, 2011
Goodbye Orion.
In the northern UK, we see the constellation Orion in its entirety in winter. It is one of the few we can consistently identify, along with Cassiopea (the 'Big 'W') and Ursus Major (the 'Great Bear' or the 'Big Dipper') Both can be used to find the Pole Star, Polaris, and there was a time, not so long ago but before widespread computer use, when we were taught how to do this in school.
The top left star, Betelgeuse, has entered popular imagination through the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy and the spooky-fun film 'Beetlejuice'. Not everyone knows how to find it but there are few who can say they have never heard the name.
Betelgeuse is an old star, a red giant, and is close to its own personal boom-day. When it goes it is likely to produce a supernova bright enough to be seen by day. There is nothing to fear in this, the star is 650 light years away so we won't get much in the way of dangerous radiation or debris coming our way. We will get an awful lot of visible light though.
Astronomers say it might happen as soon as next year. What they are actually saying is that they think it might have happened 649 years ago and the light will arrive next year. Then again, it might not happen for a long time yet. It's not easy to be sure with these things.
Part of me hopes it goes nova during my lifetime. I'd like to see that. Another part of me would prefer not to see the end of Orion. It's one of the easiest constellations to identify.
It's an important one, because the three stars of the belt point to the rising of the sun, three days after its apparent demise at the winter solstice. These three, known as the 'three kings' in many cultures, are the three kings that follow the rebirth of the Sun.
I'm not going to get into that now. I just hope to see a supernova and simultaneously hope it doesn't wreck one of the most easily-found constellations for those of us who are not astronomers.
A supernova in Canis Minor would be better. I can never find that one anyway.
The top left star, Betelgeuse, has entered popular imagination through the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy and the spooky-fun film 'Beetlejuice'. Not everyone knows how to find it but there are few who can say they have never heard the name.
Betelgeuse is an old star, a red giant, and is close to its own personal boom-day. When it goes it is likely to produce a supernova bright enough to be seen by day. There is nothing to fear in this, the star is 650 light years away so we won't get much in the way of dangerous radiation or debris coming our way. We will get an awful lot of visible light though.
Astronomers say it might happen as soon as next year. What they are actually saying is that they think it might have happened 649 years ago and the light will arrive next year. Then again, it might not happen for a long time yet. It's not easy to be sure with these things.
Part of me hopes it goes nova during my lifetime. I'd like to see that. Another part of me would prefer not to see the end of Orion. It's one of the easiest constellations to identify.
It's an important one, because the three stars of the belt point to the rising of the sun, three days after its apparent demise at the winter solstice. These three, known as the 'three kings' in many cultures, are the three kings that follow the rebirth of the Sun.
I'm not going to get into that now. I just hope to see a supernova and simultaneously hope it doesn't wreck one of the most easily-found constellations for those of us who are not astronomers.
A supernova in Canis Minor would be better. I can never find that one anyway.
Sunday, January 16, 2011
Dr. Crippen's Corpse.
The UK abandoned capital punishment in the 1960's. You won't get hanged for murder here, instead you are likely to get a stern ticking-off and maybe a prison sentence that you'll serve about half of. Seems to me as if it's gone a bit too far the other way, but that's what we have now.
I am not a supporter of capital punishment for one reason - what if the wrong person is convicted and killed? If the wrong person is imprisoned, you can let them out and compensate them for the error. If they're dead, well, 'sorry' doesn't really help.
It has happened in the past and it seems it happened in one of the more famous murder trials of the last century. Dr. Crippen was hanged for the murder of his wife and always protested his innocence.Rather than being a famous murder case, it seems it was in fact a famous miscarriage of justice.
Some things about the case still don't quite fit. There is mention of a 'headless corpse', then a piece of flesh, shown to the court, which had a scar. This was given as evidence that the flesh came from Mrs. Crippen and on that, Dr. Crippen was convicted and hanged.
DNA testing now reveals the flesh to have been male. If it came from that headless corpse, couldn't they tell? Only the head was missing. Did Victorian morals extend to the post mortem room, with the body fully clothed throughout the investigation? Somebody must have noticed whether the corpse, head or no, was male or female.
There is also the matter of this corpse. It was found in the cellar, minus head, so someone was murdered. Nobody cuts off their own head and then hides it. It also means that someone was a murderer. It does not mean it was Dr. Crippen who did this, nor that Mrs. Crippen was the corpse. There was, however, a murder carried out by someone at the premises.
In law, that's beside the point. Dr. Crippen was convicted on the basis of false evidence. He was not accused of killing a man so the presentation of a bit of male flesh was not evidence that he killed his wife. If the cellar corpse was male, then it was evidently not his wife, yet he was convicted of killing his wife.
Whether he was responsible for the cellar corpse is neither here nor there. If it was never proved that the corpse was his wife, he should not have been convicted of her murder. As to what really happened, once he had been hanged, there was nobody who could say.
So it seems the death of Dr. Crippen was a miscarriage of justice, and one that could never be put right no matter what new evidence came to light. That gives investigators a very strong incentive to cover up any new evidence that might prove they were wrong, and that is not a good basis for a fair justice system.
There are cases where a death penalty would be appropriate, such as the Yorkshire Ripper case which concluded without a shred of doubt that Peter Sutcliffe was guilty. However, I would never support a return of the death penalty because it will be wrongly used. We already hear of cases where the wrong man was locked up, and who is then released and compensated. That can't happen if the wrong man goes to the gallows.
If one of the more famous murder convictions was based on unreliable, maybe even false evidence, then how certain can we be of the reliability of the courts? They do get things wrong sometimes and that's because they are human. It's no shame to admit to being human and making mistakes now and then.
Unless that mistake has caused someone to be executed.
I am not a supporter of capital punishment for one reason - what if the wrong person is convicted and killed? If the wrong person is imprisoned, you can let them out and compensate them for the error. If they're dead, well, 'sorry' doesn't really help.
It has happened in the past and it seems it happened in one of the more famous murder trials of the last century. Dr. Crippen was hanged for the murder of his wife and always protested his innocence.Rather than being a famous murder case, it seems it was in fact a famous miscarriage of justice.
Some things about the case still don't quite fit. There is mention of a 'headless corpse', then a piece of flesh, shown to the court, which had a scar. This was given as evidence that the flesh came from Mrs. Crippen and on that, Dr. Crippen was convicted and hanged.
DNA testing now reveals the flesh to have been male. If it came from that headless corpse, couldn't they tell? Only the head was missing. Did Victorian morals extend to the post mortem room, with the body fully clothed throughout the investigation? Somebody must have noticed whether the corpse, head or no, was male or female.
There is also the matter of this corpse. It was found in the cellar, minus head, so someone was murdered. Nobody cuts off their own head and then hides it. It also means that someone was a murderer. It does not mean it was Dr. Crippen who did this, nor that Mrs. Crippen was the corpse. There was, however, a murder carried out by someone at the premises.
In law, that's beside the point. Dr. Crippen was convicted on the basis of false evidence. He was not accused of killing a man so the presentation of a bit of male flesh was not evidence that he killed his wife. If the cellar corpse was male, then it was evidently not his wife, yet he was convicted of killing his wife.
Whether he was responsible for the cellar corpse is neither here nor there. If it was never proved that the corpse was his wife, he should not have been convicted of her murder. As to what really happened, once he had been hanged, there was nobody who could say.
So it seems the death of Dr. Crippen was a miscarriage of justice, and one that could never be put right no matter what new evidence came to light. That gives investigators a very strong incentive to cover up any new evidence that might prove they were wrong, and that is not a good basis for a fair justice system.
There are cases where a death penalty would be appropriate, such as the Yorkshire Ripper case which concluded without a shred of doubt that Peter Sutcliffe was guilty. However, I would never support a return of the death penalty because it will be wrongly used. We already hear of cases where the wrong man was locked up, and who is then released and compensated. That can't happen if the wrong man goes to the gallows.
If one of the more famous murder convictions was based on unreliable, maybe even false evidence, then how certain can we be of the reliability of the courts? They do get things wrong sometimes and that's because they are human. It's no shame to admit to being human and making mistakes now and then.
Unless that mistake has caused someone to be executed.
Saturday, January 15, 2011
A new Zodiac recruit.
Apparently there's a new Zodiac sign. It seems the Earth has shifted around since astrology was first conceived and the Sun no longer goes through the right signs at the right times. In fact, there's a constellation it goes through now that it didn't go through before. Ophiuchus, the snake-wrestler.
The new list is as follows.
Capricorn: Jan. 20-Feb. 16
Aquarius: Feb. 16-March 11
Pisces: March 11-April 18
Aries: April 18-May 13
Taurus: May 13-June 21
Gemini: June 21-July 20
Cancer: July 20-Aug. 10
Leo: Aug. 10-Sept. 16
Virgo: Sept. 16-Oct. 30
Libra: Oct. 30-Nov. 23
Scorpio: Nov. 23-29
Ophiuchus: Nov. 29-Dec. 17
Sagittarius: Dec. 17-Jan. 20
I thought I was Aries but now it seems I'm completely Pisces. Which I deny. I haven't touched a drop today. I despise being in water as much as a cat does, I can barely swim and I am uncomfortable on boats. A fish-sign does not suit me at all. I prefer to stick with Aries the Ram because the idea of being able to head-butt people without feeling any need to give any kind of explanation is very appealing indeed.
Does anyone know where this stellar image of a giant guy waving his serpent around came from? I am not a student of astrology so maybe he's been in the picture all this time and I haven't noticed. Although I have to say I have never heard the name at all.
This new list comes from astronomers rather than astrologers so I have no idea of the impact (if any) it has on astrology. Does it change things retrospectively? Am I Aries because it was still Aries when I was born, or do I have to go out and get Pisces now? This is more confusing than when they demoted Pluto from 'planet' to 'big rock'. At least Pluto didn't change its orbit in response.
I wonder what the character traits for Ophiuchus people will be. A propensity for shaking your snake at people, or perhaps the ability to recognise and strangle the slimy people. That could be useful.
We'll have to wait and see whether this new sign works its way into astrology. I'm sure it will mean a lot of books will have to be rewritten.
It'll be interesting to see what effect this has. I'm sure the astronomers plan to use this to say 'Nyah, you're wrong' to the astrologers, but won't they be kicking themselves if the adjustment turned out to make astrology much more accurate?
That would be worth seeing.
The new list is as follows.
Capricorn: Jan. 20-Feb. 16
Aquarius: Feb. 16-March 11
Pisces: March 11-April 18
Aries: April 18-May 13
Taurus: May 13-June 21
Gemini: June 21-July 20
Cancer: July 20-Aug. 10
Leo: Aug. 10-Sept. 16
Virgo: Sept. 16-Oct. 30
Libra: Oct. 30-Nov. 23
Scorpio: Nov. 23-29
Ophiuchus: Nov. 29-Dec. 17
Sagittarius: Dec. 17-Jan. 20
I thought I was Aries but now it seems I'm completely Pisces. Which I deny. I haven't touched a drop today. I despise being in water as much as a cat does, I can barely swim and I am uncomfortable on boats. A fish-sign does not suit me at all. I prefer to stick with Aries the Ram because the idea of being able to head-butt people without feeling any need to give any kind of explanation is very appealing indeed.
Does anyone know where this stellar image of a giant guy waving his serpent around came from? I am not a student of astrology so maybe he's been in the picture all this time and I haven't noticed. Although I have to say I have never heard the name at all.
This new list comes from astronomers rather than astrologers so I have no idea of the impact (if any) it has on astrology. Does it change things retrospectively? Am I Aries because it was still Aries when I was born, or do I have to go out and get Pisces now? This is more confusing than when they demoted Pluto from 'planet' to 'big rock'. At least Pluto didn't change its orbit in response.
I wonder what the character traits for Ophiuchus people will be. A propensity for shaking your snake at people, or perhaps the ability to recognise and strangle the slimy people. That could be useful.
We'll have to wait and see whether this new sign works its way into astrology. I'm sure it will mean a lot of books will have to be rewritten.
It'll be interesting to see what effect this has. I'm sure the astronomers plan to use this to say 'Nyah, you're wrong' to the astrologers, but won't they be kicking themselves if the adjustment turned out to make astrology much more accurate?
That would be worth seeing.
Tuesday, January 04, 2011
Peering over the keyboard.
This wretched holiday refuses to end.
In Scotland, both the first and second of January are holidays because the Scots New Year parties mean most people need both days for recovery. This year, those dates fell on Saturday and Sunday, but they apparently don't count. So everything is still shut down for Monday and Tuesday.
Reality does not descend until Wednesday. It's going to happen again next year.
I need a new chair. This one is broken. The gas-lift plunger has popped out of the bottom so it's at minimum height and staying there. If I had a webcam now I would look like an enraged gnome. I have ordered another but it won't even be dispatched before Wednesday.
Bah. Humbug. Scrooge was right all along.
In Scotland, both the first and second of January are holidays because the Scots New Year parties mean most people need both days for recovery. This year, those dates fell on Saturday and Sunday, but they apparently don't count. So everything is still shut down for Monday and Tuesday.
Reality does not descend until Wednesday. It's going to happen again next year.
I need a new chair. This one is broken. The gas-lift plunger has popped out of the bottom so it's at minimum height and staying there. If I had a webcam now I would look like an enraged gnome. I have ordered another but it won't even be dispatched before Wednesday.
Bah. Humbug. Scrooge was right all along.
Sunday, January 02, 2011
New Year.
Wel, that's this holiday period nearly over. I expect the shops will be stocked with Easter eggs when they reopen on Tuesday.
I'll be glad when it gets back to normal on the High Street. I am in desperate need of a haircut.
So begins 2011. As always, everyone considers it a new year and imagines it will somehow be different. There are those who believe the world will end when the Mayan calendar ends on December 12th 2012. Well, our calendar just ended again and the planet didn't even notice.
The Mayan calendar is a long one but it has ended before and when it ends this time, it just goes back to the beginning again. As ours does. So I don't expect anything to happen in December 2012.
Well, there will be one event of note in 2012. There will be one second of time where clocks that display seconds will read 12:12:12 on 12/12/12. A small amusement, just as this year they read, for one second, 10:10:10 on 10/10/10 and there'll be one next November too. After the 2012 one, these little amusements won't be available again until the year 3000 and I, for one, am not confident about being here to see that.
As for resolutions, I don't really have any. I need to lose the weight I've gained by sitting around snowbound for a month but that's a necessity, not a resolution. I hope to revive this neglected blog this year and get back to the expanded version of 'Ghosthunting' which has also been neglected.
We'll see how it goes. In the meantime, I hope the year turns out to be a good one for everyone.
Happy New Year.
I'll be glad when it gets back to normal on the High Street. I am in desperate need of a haircut.
So begins 2011. As always, everyone considers it a new year and imagines it will somehow be different. There are those who believe the world will end when the Mayan calendar ends on December 12th 2012. Well, our calendar just ended again and the planet didn't even notice.
The Mayan calendar is a long one but it has ended before and when it ends this time, it just goes back to the beginning again. As ours does. So I don't expect anything to happen in December 2012.
Well, there will be one event of note in 2012. There will be one second of time where clocks that display seconds will read 12:12:12 on 12/12/12. A small amusement, just as this year they read, for one second, 10:10:10 on 10/10/10 and there'll be one next November too. After the 2012 one, these little amusements won't be available again until the year 3000 and I, for one, am not confident about being here to see that.
As for resolutions, I don't really have any. I need to lose the weight I've gained by sitting around snowbound for a month but that's a necessity, not a resolution. I hope to revive this neglected blog this year and get back to the expanded version of 'Ghosthunting' which has also been neglected.
We'll see how it goes. In the meantime, I hope the year turns out to be a good one for everyone.
Happy New Year.
Friday, December 24, 2010
Missing datapoint.
Every year at this time I visit a local haunting and try to get photos. Last year looked promising and I had hoped to build on it this year.
However, I chickened out this year. Temperatures here have been well below freezing, even during the day, and once the sun goes down the frost is severe. It's not forecast to reach above zero until Tuesday. So I have a missing datapoint but then it would have been impossible to hold a camera steady at these temperatures anyway. It's disappointing but the site will still be there next year, and it might not be quite so devastatingly cold next time.
I'm keen to photograph this haunting event but I'm not keen to become part of it.
Apparently this freezing weather is caused by global warming. It seems the alleged scientists involved think we have no memories, because the run of mild winters we had a few years ago were also caused by global warming. We were in fact told that we could expect to see no snow at all in the UK in the future, and we'd all be growing grape vines and Kiwi fruit. Last summer I struggled to grow tomatoes in a greenhouse!
So, if it gets warmer, that's global warming. If it gets colder, that's global warming. If we get a summer drought, that's global warming and if we get summer floods, that's global warming. It seems that if we get any weather at all, it's global warming.
If you doubt that anything and everything is global warming, you are a climate heretic and must be silenced. If you accept that no matter what happens, it's all global warming, you are allowed to consider yourself 'scientifically literate' even though you are self-evidently a deranged lunatic who will accept exactly the same explanation for diametrically opposite events.
When this country is under a kilometre of ice, rest assured that it will be due to global warming and heating will still be frowned upon.
'Weather is not climate' is the mantra these morons spout. Unless, of course, it's a weather event that supports the idea of global warming. Then it's climate. Any weather event is global warming. The explanation comes first, the observation must then be made to fit. This is what passes for science now. Alchemists were far more rigorous.
I'm glad I no longer teach science. Current standards have fallen so far, I'd be castigated for having unreasonable expectations of students.
You see, I wouldn't let them just make it all up.
Anyway, Merry Christmas. Time to get the whisky out.
However, I chickened out this year. Temperatures here have been well below freezing, even during the day, and once the sun goes down the frost is severe. It's not forecast to reach above zero until Tuesday. So I have a missing datapoint but then it would have been impossible to hold a camera steady at these temperatures anyway. It's disappointing but the site will still be there next year, and it might not be quite so devastatingly cold next time.
I'm keen to photograph this haunting event but I'm not keen to become part of it.
Apparently this freezing weather is caused by global warming. It seems the alleged scientists involved think we have no memories, because the run of mild winters we had a few years ago were also caused by global warming. We were in fact told that we could expect to see no snow at all in the UK in the future, and we'd all be growing grape vines and Kiwi fruit. Last summer I struggled to grow tomatoes in a greenhouse!
So, if it gets warmer, that's global warming. If it gets colder, that's global warming. If we get a summer drought, that's global warming and if we get summer floods, that's global warming. It seems that if we get any weather at all, it's global warming.
If you doubt that anything and everything is global warming, you are a climate heretic and must be silenced. If you accept that no matter what happens, it's all global warming, you are allowed to consider yourself 'scientifically literate' even though you are self-evidently a deranged lunatic who will accept exactly the same explanation for diametrically opposite events.
When this country is under a kilometre of ice, rest assured that it will be due to global warming and heating will still be frowned upon.
'Weather is not climate' is the mantra these morons spout. Unless, of course, it's a weather event that supports the idea of global warming. Then it's climate. Any weather event is global warming. The explanation comes first, the observation must then be made to fit. This is what passes for science now. Alchemists were far more rigorous.
I'm glad I no longer teach science. Current standards have fallen so far, I'd be castigated for having unreasonable expectations of students.
You see, I wouldn't let them just make it all up.
Anyway, Merry Christmas. Time to get the whisky out.
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