My grandmother was a fount of wisdom, usually delivered with a scowl and a clip around the ear. Then again, I was never short of comics or pocket money. A fearsome woman, short and square and apparently made of ill-tempered brick, but when it came to family she knew which side to take.
Stung by nettles? Crush dockleaf and rub it in. Gut problems? Apples. If she resorted to pharmaceuticals, it went as far as calamine lotion, kaolin and morphine or aspirin. No further.
One treatment for warts was the sap from dandelions. Snap off the flower and the white exudate would kill a wart. Incidentally, dandelion flowers make good wine, the leaves are good in salads and the roots can be eaten boiled or fried. Don't be too hasty with that weedkiller.
Science is catching up with Grandma. They have now found that non-melanoma skin cancers (warts) can be cured with topical application of milkweed sap. Somewhere in the spirit world, Grandma is administering an ectoplasmic smack across the head to a scientist. She knew about that years ago.
The odd thing about science is that when you read about marvellous cures for this and that, they involve some exotic Polynesian fruit or rare Transylvanian herb. Blueberries and cranberries abound in these papers, as do kiwi fruit and starfruit and yams. One fruit they ignore, in all cases, is the humble apple.
I did test them. Since testing them I have planted two apple trees in my garden. Draw your own conclusions.
The arrogance of modern science and medicine is leading to their downfall. The 'five-a-day' fruit and vegetable recommendation, or the '21 units of alcohol' limit for example - have you seen the research from which these figures were derived? I can state with absolute confidence that you have not. There was no research. Both figures were simply made up.
Now, the most effective way of leaving tobacco ever invented is to be banned on the lack of understanding displayed by an idiot:
Democrat Linda Rosenthal, or the New York Assembly, said: 'I got interested in this because I saw all these ads for e-cigarettes, so I did some research.
'I found what is in the e-cigarettes is a mystery.'
She didn't do very much research. Every electrosmoking website I've seen details exactly what's in them. Water and propylene glycol or glycerol (common and safe food additives) for the 'smoke', flavouring of all kinds and nicotine. The nicotine is optional. I have zero-nicotine electrosmoking fluid that works, for me, just as well. The addiction story is, and always has been, nonsense.
It's going to be banned to protect the interests of the pharmaceutical companies selling patches and gum and to keep tobacco revenues pouring in. If you live in New York and vote for these people, you are voting to keep smokers on tobacco because the patches and gum have never worked and never will. Electrosmoking does work. If you like being surrounded by smokers, vote for Linda Rosenthal. If you think smokers should get a safer alternative that produces no ash, butts or smell, vote that idiot out at the first opportunity.
There is no science any more. Rely on Granny because those who claim to 'know best' cannot be trusted. They have been proven to be just making up their results, time and again.
Now they are claiming credit for knowledge Granny learned from her own Granny.
That's just despicable.