Thursday, November 15, 2007

An early Christmas Idiot Award.

You are not going to believe this one.

A recruitment firm has told Australian Santas that 'Ho ho ho' is offensive to women, and might corrupt children.

I'd have posted it sooner but I've only just stopped laughing. Apparently, because the USA uses 'ho' as a slang term for 'whore', the word must be banned in Australia. Which is a different country. On the other side of the planet. This recruitment agency (which is US-owned) apparently now believes Santa's traditional merry chortle has always translated to 'Slut slut slut.'

Oh, I am so going to use that. The next woman who pisses me off is going to get a cheery Santa greeting.

I wonder what's next? If Santa changes to 'Hee hee hee', is that sexist? Will he have to say 'Hee Shee Hee Shee' just to keep it fair? Will we have raging feminists insisting it's 'Shee Hee' not 'Hee Shee'?

I'm not sure whether I should be disturbed by the fact that I fully expect that to happen and will not be in the least bit surprised when it does. The world has far exceeded its quota of idiots. We're going to need someone with ten times Einstein's genius to redress the balance, and they'd better be born soon.

Christmas routinely brings the idiots from their boxes. Perhaps it's because we've cut down all the trees they were busy hugging. I'll be watching for more as the Loony Season approaches. There are already reports of 'Christmas banned so as to avoid offending minorities who have never expressed any concern at all on the subject'. These are now annual events.

Here's one for the Politically Correct to chew on.

Santa wears red, comes out at night, does his work in secret, keeps a host of non-human, supernatural workers and has an affinity for fireplaces. So does someone whose name is an anagram of Santa.

That's right, PC morons. Santa is really Satan! Go and have a meeting about that one.

I do love to bait the brainless. Well, everyone needs a hobby.


ThatGreenyFlower said...

I'm a tree-hugger, Rom. Just thought I'd let you know. Come stand next to me, you coarse prickly thing! I'll even hug YOU!

And do you REALLY believe that the idiots come out at Christmas? 'Cause, really, I think they're out there All The Time.

Romulus Crowe said...

You're right, they're always around. Christmas just seems to get them all hyperactive, for some reason. Perhaps, as the weather cools,they huddle together for warmth and hatch insane schemes to drive the rest of us mad.

Most of the tree-huggers I've spoken to are okay - but that's a biased sample because I avoid talking to the mad ones. There are a lot of them.

Dr. Shedevil said...

Hee Shee Hee Shee? Ohh Rom honey, that could bring on an entirely new shitstorm from the transgender community. Ask yourself: A) Do we really want that...and 2) where would we hold the meeting?

Rdamldmk roasting on an open fire...

Romulus Crowe said...

Hee Shee-It?

Maybe Santa should just wear an eyepatch and say 'Ah-harr!'

I'd like to see that.

Anonymous said...

the Santa=Satan bit has been around for a loooooong time. some groups - like jehovah wtnesses I think - don't allow any observance of things like Santa or Halloween, etc

Southern Writer said...

*stands and admits* My name is Southern Writer and I'm an earth muffin. I agree with Greenyflower. They're out there all the time. There's a lot of evidence of it here in your blog, year round. Admit it. You just don't like Christmas, Grinch. That's perfectly okay. It's so commercialized and overdone now anyway.

Romulus Crowe said...

Weeeell, not so much I don't like Christmas, but I certainly don't like how it starts in September. It's a build-up, over months, to a one-day non-event with no wind-down period afterwards. It just ends at its peak. Like driving up a long, long hill then falling off a cliff at the end.

I prefer the Scottish handling of New Year. That starts about 7 pm on New Year's Eve, peaks at midnight, then gradually dissipates by sunrise. Then they take the next day or two off work to relax. Okay, that's because many of them are unsafe to drive until the third, but still...

That's how Christmas should be. All over and done with in one night. Then we wouldn't have to hear about how companies won't let employees put up tinsel, shops refusing to have Santa's grotto and so on.

Plus, town centres might not be no-go areas filled with insane shoppers and drunk office workers for the whole month of December.

Okay, I'm going to say it... Bah! Humbug!

Perhaps I can attract those Christmas ghosts. I'll have my cameras ready, just in case.

LizBurton said...

Another vote for "Idiots, please shut up." Ho ho ho offensive? Gimme a break.

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