A growth of administrators.

I'm sure that's the collective noun for administrators. If it's not, it should be.

Moves are afoot to prosecute a hospital for negligence, perhaps even manslaughter. If it happens, it won't be the last one.

Why? Well, there are cleaner pigstys in the UK. People have been dying of hospital-acquired infection at an appalling rate, and this hospital's management (like others) did nothing about it other than try to hide it. Farm animal housing is subject to strict regulation: it appears housing our sick is not. If you treat an animal the way some of those patients were treated you'd be in prison now.

The article includes a little picture of the sink in the 'clean' facility. Click on it if you dare, and try to imagine the areas that aren't designated 'clean'.

The blame for this lies with administrators, as always, but they will deftly shift it onto medical staff. They have even tried to blame visitors to the hospital for carrying in the disease. Evidently, the fact that the sick people are in the hospital, and visitors are generally fairly healthy (as long as they don't visit too often) has escaped them.

Administrators, not doctors, run our hospitals, They are run as if they were a business, and a badly-run business at that. If you get sick, you're better off self-medicating from a supermarket. They're much cleaner, and are most likely staffed by trained nurses who have been 'downsized' from the local hospital so that the Grand Idiot of Admin can have a new carpet in his office.

The once-feared Matron is no more, a casualty of our wonderful government's money-stealing policies. Hospitals' own cleaning staff similarly went into the dole queue in favour of inexperienced, inefficient, but most of all cheap private firms. Since this administration was responsible for removing everyone whose job it was to ensure the place is clean, why are they now so surprised to find it's not?

The current furore is all down to our new Prime Minibrain's wish to make himself look good by 'cleaning up' hospitals. This 'cleaning up' involves him taking more money from them, funnily enough.

What he thinks we've all forgotten is that, before he moved up to the top job, he was Chancellor of the Exchequer for ten years. The man in charge of the national budget, in other words.

The same man who cut back on real staff in hospitals and filled them with worthless managers.

Yes, he's now promising to clean up the mess he made. I won't hold my breath, unless I happen to be in a hospital in which case I won't eat, drink or breathe until I'm clear.

He must think we have the memories of goldfish. Does he believe the entire population wake up each morning with no memory of the day before? It seems many do, but there are still a few who retain some measure of recall. A few who won't forget, and who will remind those who do that our empty-promise-maker of the day is the same man who caused all the problems he's promising to fix. He won't fix them. He can't. The cushy managerial jobs are all occupied by his pals.

Some of these hospital managers have spent tens of thousands on consultants who apparently tell them ways to save money. Isn't it the manager's job to know how to do this?

This tells me two things:

One, the managers aren't capable of doing the job they're paid to do and should be fired.

Two, the managers are wasteful of taxpayer's money and should be fired.

Scratch fired. They should be publicly humiliated and then infected with something disgusting.

It won't happen. Administrators are a cancer in the body of the UK. Admin departments grow, they never shrink. They consume all resources and supplant real workers until the business dies. The only cure is surgery, and the only ones who can order the surgery are politicians. Since politicians are a country's brain tumour, the order will never come.

Perhaps it should be 'a malignancy of administrators'? I think I prefer that one. It's more accurate.

Watch for the prosecutions. The hospitals will be fined, the staff will be cut, but no administrators will leave. New administrators will be employed to work out how best to squeeze the last drops of life from the one remaining doctor and two nurses who now run fifteen wards and an emergency department.

Further malignancies of administrators will work out whether the doctor could manage just as well with one nurse. Or no nurses.

Finally, there will be whole subgroup of committees (a metastasis of administration?) dedicated to ensuring that if anything goes wrong, it can be definitely shown to be the doctor's fault.

If you're planning to visit the UK, drive carefully. Very, very carefully. If you injure yourself, wrap it in parcel tape until you get home. Under no circumstances do you want to end up in a hospital here.

Unless your interests include collecting unusual intestinal diseases.