Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Cowcatchers from Space.

Cattle mutilation has a long history and it's in the news again. Cattle are found dead, no footprints leading to or from the carcass, and with bits missing. It's been happening for a long time and it still happens now.

I know there are sceptics who will snort and say 'It's all nonsense, it doesn't happen'. There are too many documented cases for this approach to have any merit. It does happen. Why, how and who, are unknown but the actual event certainly does occur. Simply denying the event is like a blind man denying the sky is blue. It's a frankly silly apporach.

Nobody has ever seen one of these mutilations take place even though there have been thousands of documented cases. All anyone ever sees is the dead animal afterwards. They'd be put down to spontaneous deaths if it wasn't for the consistent mutilations.

I can't figure it out. The 'who' theories include secret government tests, but if they wanted to test some kind of weapon on cows they could simply buy cows at the market and arouse no suspicion at all. Well, aside from the inevitable black suits and sunglasses and the black cattle trailers. They just can't help themselves there. Still, stealing them, killing them and then dumping the corpse where it will be found is not what you'd expect any secretive organisation to do.

The aliens get the blame too, of course. Again, if they wanted to test something without humans finding out, they aren't doing a very good job of hiding their activities. The dumped corpse would at least make sense. There can't be a lot of room in the spaceships so they'd only keep the parts they wanted.

In either case, they could at least weight the corpse and dump it at sea. Or in the wilds where it won't be found until most of it has been eaten. That would be the sensible course because the missing parts then won't be noticed.

The 'how' seems to be pretty much unanimously agreed. Some kind of flying craft - helicopter or spaceship - grabs the cow and lifts it. These flying machines are stealth ones so nobody hears them or sees them. Very expensive machines. Then they take a few bits, meddle with the corpse and dump it.

Whoever is doing this, it must be costing them a fortune. Yet they don't take rump steaks. They take tongues and eyes and reproductive organs and ears. The cheapest parts on the butcher's shelf. In fact, I'll bet most butchers would give you the eyes and ears for free. So it's an extraordinarily expensive way to steal the bits of cattle nobody wanted anyway. They could simply collect these by the bucket load at any slaughterhouse. Apart from tongues. Those are popular with a lot of people, but they're cheap.

The 'why' is absolutely mystifying. Why go to the enormous expense and trouble, not to mention the risk of arrest, by stealing these cattle, and then keeping the least edible parts and dumping the rest with no attempt at hiding the crime?

If you wanted those parts for some kind of experiment, ritual, or just to make stew, they're all cheap or free. Why steal them? If you wanted a whole cow for some nefarious purpose, why not just buy one? They're expensive, but you can buy an awful lot of cows and transport for the price of a stealth helicopter.

Finally, if it really had to be secret and totally untraceable, why not make use of wild deer or cattle? Why take the ones that someone is going to miss, and why leave them in places, and in a condition, where the involvement of the authorities is inevitable?

As I said, the fact of these cattle mutilations is undeniable. It happens.

I just can't find any logical reason for anyone, human or alien, to do it.


Regina Richards said...

I can't think of a logical reason either. But here's a stab at some illogical ones:

1) cow serial killers - the ears and other bits are trophies.

2) DNA rip offs - patented breeds of animals are big dough around the world. Maybe someone is trying to find out if his competitor is developing something new or has poached what he is developing. Consider leaving the body behind as a sort of horse's head in the bed warning to your rival.

3) secret religious ritual practiced by poor and lazy adherents. Too poor to buy their own cows, too lazy to hide the evidence.

4) drunk initiation into some secret college organization - reasons same as poor religious guys.

Romulus Crowe said...

No 2 - nah, all they'd have to do is take a sample of meat at the abbatoir.

No 1 - creepy but possible.

No 4 - horrible but possible, although most students would have trouble living with it afterwards.

No 3 - maybe, there are some weird people about. It could also be a supremely self-confident evil magician who does not expect to ever be caught.

Which is why I was so taken by this article. I've just written about a (fictional) one!

Southern Writer said...

I'm not sure if I killed a cow if I would know where to find the reproductive organs. On a bull, sure, it's pretty obvious, but in a cow, not so much. It almost has to be someone who knows what they're doing.

Southern Writer said...

When am I going to learn not to read your blog when I'm home alone? It's late, very dark outside, and the back door is open. If I hear a moo, I'm running. You give me the willies.

Romulus Crowe said...

A lot of bulls don't have any, if they are raised for beef rather than breeding. They have the dangly but not the bag of lumps.

The lumps are sold as 'sweetbreads'. Which is strange because they are neither sweet nor bread.

But then if you labelled them with what they really are, nobody would buy them.

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