Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Scarier than ghosts.

I'm used to being alone in the dark. It doesn't make me nervous. I don't imagine things, I recognise most night sounds such as mice, rabbits, birds and so on. A rustle in the grass won't faze me, the wind through gaps in stones won't make me jump. I've spent enough time lurking among dark ruins that, if I say so myself, it's hard to scare me now.

The photo, taken in daylight, shows a few local cows. They are dark brown with white markings, the white is on their faces, their underbellies and in some cases a few patches on the body and legs. If you haven't spent any time around cows you'll probably expect them to be lumbering, clumsy beasts, but they can move surprisingly quietly when they want. I remember one river-fishing trip where I checked behind me before casting and saw a clear field. Next cast, I checked behind again and there were a row of cows watching me over the fence. They weren't moving so I had to. I couldn't cast with them in the way. They hadn't made a sound.

Cows are inherently curious and will come along to see what you're up to if you're busy near their field. Sometimes they run, but they aren't charging. They're just racing for the best spot.

These particular cows live in a field well away from any streetlights but next to the site of an old ruined church. In near-total darkness, the dark brown bodies are invisible. The heads are so white they pick up every photon of moonlight.

As I said, it's not easy to scare me, but I have to admit that the sight of several advancing, silent, disembodied white cow-faces did the trick. Ghosts, I was expecting. Floating cow-heads, I was not expecting.

If there are any ghosts at that old church, I bet they're still laughing.


Southern Writer said...

That is TOO FUNNY! Thanks for the chuckle.

I have to admit, I can be pretty jumpy under certain circumstances -- alone in the house in the middle of the night, and reading your blog, especially when you've produced evidence. One night, I bravely went to the kitchen where the only light was a small fluorescent on the stove. At the sink, my back was to it. Suddenly, a huge black shadow loomed across the wall and darkened the window over the sink. I just about had another heart attack. When I whirled around, it was only one of my cats, who had jumped up on the counter (naughty kitty) and walked in front of the light. I cursed you for a week.

ver: weyow

Whee! Yow!

Dr. Brainiac said...

Too funny! My sweet husband has been growing cows for many years. They aren't always as sweet as they may appear to the casual observer. If a bull charges, he does it with his eyes closed, but if a cow charges, she does it with her eyes open. Also, a cow can kick straight sideways - ow! I still recommend them best grilled to medium rare and served with a nice glass of chianti.

Word verification: coaxin - sounds like a prescription drug for sales people.

Romulus Crowe said...

These turned out to be young bulls, not cows. I hope they aren't offended.

I went back again and they were waiting. The lot of them came to the fence when I parked, and just stared at me.

I'll swear they grinned. Nasty sense of humour, cattle. I'm going to wear a leather jacket next time. That'll show them who's boss.

Anonymous said...

Bwaaaahahaha! Leather jacket, show 'em who's boss ... you should have issued a beverage alert with that one. I spit tea all over my monitor. Hours later, I'm still chuckling.

btw, they follow you because they think you have food. ;-D

(It's me, southernwriter. I'm not logged into Blogger.)

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