Thursday, October 16, 2008

Only in America.

An American senator has decided to sue God for making terrorist threats against Omaha. I have two Bibles here, the King James version and the American Standard version (for some reason, they gave us that one in school in the UK, years ago. I doubt it would be allowed now - they'd have to give out the Bhagavad-Gita and the Q'ran and all the others too). Anyway, I've checked in them both, and even had a skim through my New Testament in Welsh, which I can't actually read but keep for historical value, and I can find no mention of Omaha at all.

The judge threw the case out, on the grounds that they don't know where God lives and so can't send out a summons. The senator responded that since the court has tacitly admitted the existence of God, they must also admit he knows everything so he knows about the summons already. Since the common perception of God is that he is everywhere, there's no need to wonder about where he lives either. He's already in the courtroom and always has been.

I'm not sure what point this senator is making. Something to do with accessibility to the law for lunatics, perhaps?

If there is no God, there is no case.

If there is a God, then deliberately irritating him seems like a bad idea. Besides, if there is a God then the law cannot apply. If there is a God, then God made Man, and Man made laws. It's like saying that the heirarchy your pet lizards live by applies equally to you, their owner.

I did find the whole thing amusing. Perhaps it's in one of the lost books of the Bible?

And God spake, and did say 'Adam, thou shalt father my people,and they shall spill forth across the face of the earth. Except Omaha, which is a terrible place. I shall smite all those who abide there.'

And Adam did say 'Yo, whatever, Dad. See you in Omaha. Not!' And he did weave and bob and make gangsta gestures.

And God was displeased, and spake thus: 'Disrespect me not, thou callow youth. Thou art but the dust on my beard. Verily, I will smite Omaha, especially those who name themselves Senator, for they are litiginous filth.'

And so on. I expect the stake will be set up on the village green for me tomorrow night, but well, it is comical, isn't it?

I wish British politicians had a sense of humour. Then again, I just wish they had sense.

2 comments:

tom sheepandgoats said...

Somewhere, ages ago, I saw this cartoon:

God was poised to throw down a lightningbolt. But one of the angels was tugging at his sleeve:

"Not America. Think of the lawsuits!"

Apparantly he didn't listen.

Southern Writer said...

Great job on the Bible verses. That was too funny.

I kept an old comic of a school bus, moving along a foot or two off the ground. The bus says "School of Metaphysics," and below the comic, it says Past Due.

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