Sunday, July 01, 2007

It came from the sky.

The rain has not stopped in over a month. I've been considering asking Tom Sheepandgoats if he happens to have Noah's phone number.

Hats and coats are futile. This rain comes down with power-washer force. You'd get wet even if you were laminated. There are floods all over the UK, fortunately only minor in my area but severe in many places. It's more than enough to put me off any idea of investigating derelict buildings. All that expensive equipment, and none of it waterproof...

Apparently, a group of bishops have declared that the terrible weather is God's punishment for allowing homosexuals to marry. I'll try to find that link, I don't have it to hand. These bishops should really be taken away somewhere and placed under sedation.

(Edit: here's the link.)

Most of the problem is in engineering. Houses built on those nice, flat areas with a view over the river. You know, the places we normally refer to as 'flood plains'. To stop them flooding, the riverbank usually gets a nice new concrete wall. It all seems futile: build a house in the countryside with a river view, then concrete it. But then, I have long since ceased to expect common sense from people.

Further downriver, all that water that should have dissipated into the flood plains now arrives in a massive torrent. It has nowhere else to go. So rivers burst, drains back up, and whole towns disappear underwater.

Yet our water companies still charge us exorbitant amounts for the supply of this stuff. Why? It drops out of the sky for free.

I think I'll install a big tank and a purifier.


tom sheepandgoats said...

I'll save you the trouble of asking. The number will do you no good.

Careful students of the Bible know that Noah had a cell phone. And he left it out on the deck while he was shoveling rhino manure, and it got soaked and ruined. (Even though he'd had it laminated!)

He was a little miffed at first. But upon reflection, he thought, it really wasn't any big deal. There was no one to call anyway.

Lots of odd weather here too, from time to time, and lots of preachers to tell us all why. But the most outragious example isn't weather-related at all. Its a nutcake sect that pickets funerals of boys sent home from Iraq. God's punishing the good ol U.S. on account of homosexuals. There's no link whatsoever between the bereaved family and any stand on sexuality, but they've chosen funerals for their forum anyway! They are not real popular.

Here in upstate New York, we are in the midst of a dry spell. I've wondered who was hogging all the water. I might have known it would be the Brits!

In much of the U.S, especially the desert southwest, water is becoming a highly sought after commodity. Not where I am, on the shores of one of the Great Lakes. But most of the country is not so fortunate.

Romulus Crowe said...

I saw a documentary on that. Aren't all the members of the 'church' in the same rabid family?

If all the world's water lands on the UK (and it feels like it at the moment) we could see the start of a whole new export business. Also, we'll see an outbreak of backyard boatbuilders if it keeps up much longer.

Dr. Shedevil said...

Here in Texas we've been similarly afflicted with the monsoons. We've already had rainfall equivalent to the average for the year after two years of hard drought and there's nowhere for the water to go. I was watching a newscast story the other night about some homes built rather high on a terraced hillside at the edge of a (non-concreted) river. The homeowners were upset because the terracing and landscaping was eroding away, leaving the homes precariously close to falling into the river and the city wasn't doing anything to stop the erosion. If anything they should be upset with themselves for buying into the developer's marketing scheme indicating that as a good location to build.

Surprisingly enough though, no one's blaming the homosexuals, which is odd for the Bible Belt.

tom sheepandgoats said...


No posts from you lately. Unusual. Are you living on a houseboat now? has your own house been transformed into one of them? I hope not.

You haven't said any liberal things about homosexuality lately, have you?


Romulus Crowe said...

I've been away from the computer for some time. More on that later.

I think, Tom that's probably the first time anyone, anywhere has referred to me as a 'liberal'. You can claim that as a unique statement!

My views on homosexuality are simple: I don't care at all as long I'm not expected to take part. Currently, gays are getting a lot of abuse from some large religious institutions who claim to be all-forgiving and tolerant yet want to kill entire groups of people simply because they disagree with the way they live.

I'm not so much defending gays as attacking what I see as fundamentalist lunacy in those posts.

Fundamentalist lunacy is on the rise, so there'll be more in a similar vein in future.

opinions powered by